


Leave the Light On

by reliablyimperfect



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Awkward Sexual Situations, Coming Out, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Hospitalization, Kid Fic, M/M, Medical Inaccuracies, Panic Attacks, Sexy things, Smut, Teasing, Traumatic Experiences, Zayn teaches Liam things, Zayn works at a zoo, Zoo au?, dead wife, lots of mentions of big cats, non-epileptic seizure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-19
Updated: 2020-10-19
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:07:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 22,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27092512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reliablyimperfect/pseuds/reliablyimperfect
Summary: It’d only been a week or so since Liam had tried out the word ‘bisexual’ on his tongue, rolling it around in his mouth awkwardly after he’d put Sam to bed. It left a foreign, heavy feeling in his mouth. He’d never been attracted to a guy before. Now that he’d accepted it, he found himself looking at Zayn differently. Liam always knew he had a fit friend. There wasn’t anything wrong with admitting that. Straight men can say they have fit friends, right? However, admitting that he might want to kiss his friend, that might not be totally normal.
Relationships: Zayn Malik/Liam Payne
Comments: 2
Kudos: 59





	Leave the Light On

**Author's Note:**

> I was hoping to get this done earlier, but oh well. Technically I have a job, and this isn't it, so I suppose that comes first. I have two stories in the works, so keep an eye out for those in the coming weeks/month.  
> Enjoy!

“Daddy, can we go see the penguins now?” Brown eyes blinked up at Liam. He sighed, knowing it was getting late. He knew he wasn’t going to be able to say no, but liked to think he held out for a few moments before he allowed his daughter to pull him towards the exhibit.

He rested a hand on her hair as she squawked and flapped her arms back at the animals. She giggled up at her father, and his heart melted. The smile that spread over his face was easy. He was happy to see her smiling again. It had been too long since she had smiled a true, kid-like smile because of something as silly as a penguin.

“Sams, only a few more, yeah? We need to go soon,” Liam reminded softly. She pouted up at him, and he pulled on the end of her braid softly. “Few more, first, though. Where to, bub?”

“Ummm…seals?” She asked. Liam nodded. He could hear the seals from where they stood, making it easy to determine which way they needed to go. They slowly walked over to the seal exhibit. Liam leaned up against the low fence and watched them jump in and out of the water. Their barks echoed, and it made Liam’s ears ache a bit. Their exhibit was near the middle of the zoo, a large circle that housed over a dozen seals. About half of the area was water, a few rocks poking out for sunbathing. The other half was mostly rock. They had a few caves that led to what Liam thinks might be the holding area.

“What next, kid?” Liam asked. He glanced down to his daughter, only to notice she wasn’t there. “Sam?” He called. His eyes scanned the area around him, looking for her familiar head of hair. Assuming she had wandered to find a better view of the seals, Liam walked around the seals twice before he allowed himself a moment to panic.

“Fucking hell,” He swore. A mom passing by with her young kids shot a look at him, but he ignored her. “Sam!” He yelled. Liam cupped his hands over his mouth and yelled her name again. The stares thrown his was went unnoticed by the man as he spun frantically, looking in every direction for his daughter.

“Mate, you good?” Liam saw a blonde walking towards him. He had on a polo with the zoo’s logo.

“Oh, uh, no. My,” Liam let out a shaky breath and pushed his hand through his hair. “My daughter wandered off.”

“Oh. I can call a friend, and we can split up and help you look.” Liam nodded gratefully. The blonde pulled out a walkie talkie and asked for ‘Harry, could you meet me in front of the seal exhibit?’ He got a confirmation that Harry was on his way before he turned back to Liam.

“I’m Niall, by the way.”

“Liam.”

“Liam, do you have a picture of your daughter?” Liam nodded and pulled out his wallet. He rifled through the sections before he found her preschool school photo. He handed it over to Niall. “Aw she’s cute. What’s her name? And can you describe her clothes?”

“Um, her name is Samantha, but she prefers Sam. I call her Sams. She’s got on jeans. Her hair is blonde and in braids. Um, I think she has on a Batman shirt, but she had on a black jacket when we left the apartment.”

“Alright. I’m gonna call it on the walkie.” Liam nodded. He heard Niall relaying the message over the walkie talkie, and soon after, Niall’s friend showed up. Liam gave them both his cell number and told them to call if they found her. They were within sight of each other but had split up to check everywhere. They had given him permission to check behind doors, but not to go behind the scenes.

He had searched all around the seals and had doubled back to the penguins when his phone rang with an unknown number. He quickly answered it.

“Hello?”

“Uh, is this Liam?”

“Yeah, who is this?” Liam didn’t recognise the voice.

“My name is Zayn. I work at the zoo. I, uh, I found your daughter.”

“Oh, thank god.” Liam exhaled. “I’m by the penguins. Do you think you two could meet me by the seals?”

“Yeah, we’ll see you in a minute.” Zayn hung up the phone, and Liam made his way back to the seal exhibit to wait on Zayn. He sat for maybe two or three minutes before he got up to pace. _Where were they?_ Just as he thinking he’d start wearing down the concrete with how many times he’d passed over the same place, his phone rang.

“Hello?”

“It’s Zayn again. She won’t come with me.”

“What? Why?”

“She told me, ‘My dad said to not to talk to strangers.’” Liam heard the amusement in his voice and couldn’t help the smile that pulled at his lips. He could envision perfectly what his daughter would look like: hand on one hip, lips pursed, with raised eyebrows, as if she were daring them to argue.

“Of course, she chooses _now_ to listen to me,” Liam could hear the fond exasperation in his voice. “I-I’ll come to you. Where are you?”

“We’re at the tiger exhibit.” Liam rubbed a hand over his face and thanked Zayn before hanging up. He quickly found a map that told him where to go and started walking. It was nearly all the way across the freaking zoo. By the time Liam found the tigers, he was slightly angry.

His eyes fell on his daughter and the anger disappeared.

“Sams,” Liam called softly. His daughter turned around with a guilty expression on her face, and Liam walked over and picked her up. He spun her around as he hugged her. “I’m _so_ mad at you right now. Why did you walk off? You know better than that!” He set Sam back on her feet, watching her rub the toes of her shoe against the concrete. The material was scuffed from the friction.

“I didn’t want to leave, Daddy. You said a few more and then we would have to go. I didn’t want to leave.” Her voice was soft, and Liam didn’t know how to respond. Luckily, he was saved by a guy that looked about his age who had walked over to lean against the child barrier.

“Hey, Sam,” A familiar voice said carefully. He glanced at Liam and, when he didn’t stop him, he kept going. “I bet your dad just wanted you home before it got too cold. Plus, it’s almost dinner time, and dinner is important. When I get off in a bit, I’m going to go eat dinner.” He paused, letting Sam think for a moment.

“Can I tell you a secret?” Sam nodded, eyes wide, hanging onto every word. He lowered his voice, and a crooked smile grew on his face as he stage-whispered to the small girl. Liam could easily hear him, but turned his attention to the tigers to give them privacy. “I bet, if you’re super good, and you ask super nicely, he might bring you back to the zoo.”

Sam gasped and stumbled over to Liam. “Is that true? Can we come back?”

“Soon, yeah. But,” Liam glanced at the guy’s name tag. It was Zayn. Which makes sense why he recognised his voice. “Zayn is right. We need to get home for dinner.”

“Can Zayn come too?” Liam was shocked. She hadn’t even wanted to walk with Zayn to find Liam, and now she was inviting him to dinner?

“I’m sure Zayn had other plans for tonight.” Liam said with a quick glance at the lad beside him. Liam knew that Zayn could hear them, but he was acting like he couldn’t.

“I’ll ask!” She chirped. She skipped back to Zayn before Liam could stop her.

“Zayn!” Sam said. He turned around and knelt on the ground in front of the small girl. He raised an eyebrow in a silent question. “What are you doing when you leave?”

“When I get off work?” He clarified. She nodded. “I’m going to go home and make some mac and cheese and go to bed.” He chuckled.

“Do you like chicken?” Liam rolled his eyes at his daughter but kept quiet. She’s so mischievous. Liam made a mental note to stop letting Louis babysit. “Uncle Louis” has been teaching his daughter bad things.

“I love chicken,” Zayn chuckled.

“Great! Do you want to come home with my Daddy and me and eat dinner with us? I bet Daddy would even make mac and cheese if you wanted him to!” Zayn, an amused smile on his lips, looked up at Liam, who shrugged, then nodded at Zayn.

“If it’s okay with your dad, I’d love to.” He grinned, and Liam caught sight of his tongue that poked out from between his teeth. It was incredibly endearing, and Liam felt his stomach swoop. He mentally shook himself off, confused about the feeling. He’s sure he’s just glad his daughter is okay.

***

It'd been almost eleven months since his wife died. In the days following Sophia’s horrific car accident, Liam spent most of them crying alone next to her hospital bed. When her doctor had came into the room one night and informed Liam she had slipped into a coma, Liam had allowed Sam to see her mom. He had adamantly refused to let her in the room before. He hadn’t wanted Sam to see her mom like that. Liam held Sam in one arm and held Sophia’s hand with the other as they unplugged her from the machines breathing for her.

Liam held Sam’s hand every time she cried and sobbed, screaming for her mother in her sleep until it woke her up. It broke his heart, but he did. The nightmares had gone from every night, to every other, to once a week, to every so often. Even though he missed Sophia every single day, he could admit the ache in his heart was lessening.

“Right, Daddy?” Sam’s voice broke him from his thoughts. Zayn had flitted around the kitchen, anxious for something to do to help. Eventually, Liam he shooed him from the kitchen to set the table. Now, completely lost as to what was going on, he glanced at Zayn, who smirked at him.

“Of course,” He said uncertainly.

“Told you!” She exclaimed.

“Inside voice, Sams. What did you tell Zayn?”

“Zayn said he didn’t believe that I could sleep for a full _twelve hours_.” Liam sighed. It’s true, she could. However, she only did that when Liam gave her melatonin. He’d had no choice the first few weeks after Sophia’s death. Sam had been inconsolable a few nights after her mom died, and Liam had found the bottle in his cabinet the night before. He gave her one, promising it’d help her feel better. And it did. She had passed out only fifteen minutes later and easily slept through the night.

Liam caught Zayn’s eyes, who frowned at the look on his face. Liam shook his head.

“Sam, you done eating?” Liam asked. She nodded, and Liam persuaded her into taking a bath by promising he wouldn’t let Zayn leave until she could say goodnight. Zayn chuckled as she ran down the hall, followed quickly by Liam so he could run the bath water. When he got back, he smiled up at Liam, who raised his eyebrows in question.

“She’s great,” Zayn commented.

“Thanks. She’s a handful, but she’s the best part about every day.”

“Can I ask what the look was about at dinner?”

“She wasn’t lying,” Liam said. “She can sleep for twelve hours, but only after I give her medicine to help her sleep.”

“She’s what, six?” Liam nodded. “Why on earth does a six-year-old need sleeping pills?”

“Her mom died about a year ago.” Liam held his hand up to stop the apologies. “The first couple weeks, it was hard to get her to sleep. When she did, she’d wake me up screaming for her mom. After the worst of the nightmares, she’d wake up the next morning hoarse.”

“Can I ask how she died?” Zayn’s voice was soft.

“Car crash. A drunk driver ran a red light; he hit her door dead on. Car was a wreck. First responders had to cut her out. It was bad. Slipped into a coma, and then the doctors knew she wasn’t going to wake up. I expected it. When she was first admitted, they told us to start making preparations, but it was still a shock when she died.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah.” Liam could feel the awkwardness creeping into the room with every second they spent not talking. Thankfully, they were saved by an excitable child throwing herself into Liam’s lap, unaware of the tension. “Oof!” Liam huffed, chuckling. Liam pushed her long, wet hair over her shoulders to keep his shirt dry.

“Will you braid my hair?” She asked, wide eyed.

“I will if you go get your brush and hair ties.” She squealed and jumped off his lap to thunder down the hall into her room.

“She asks me to braid her hair nearly every night, and I still haven’t gotten any better.” They both laughed.

“Okay, Daddy!” Sam chirped as she skipped back out. Liam should make a cake for the people who lived below them. They must be tired of hearing her footsteps running around the apartment, but he didn’t have the heart to tell her to stop. He had missed her excitement.

“Hey, Sammy,” Zayn said. Sam cocked her head at the nickname but smiled. “Can I braid your hair?”

“Are you better than Daddy?”

“Probably,” Zayn chuckled. Liam pouted, but didn’t deny it.

“Okay!” She settled down on the floor between his legs and let him manipulate her hair. Since he wasn’t behind her, he got to watch her eyes start to flutter as she got sleepy. Having her hair played with seemed to relax her, so Liam typically made it a habit to at least brush her hair for a bit before he put her to bed.

Zayn’s fingers twisted Sam’s hair into tight, intricate braids. Liam knew how to do the boring, simple braids, but Zayn could start at her hairline and braid her hair from there.

“What kind of braid is that?” Liam asked.

“It’s called a French Braid. I used to do my sisters’ hair when I lived with them.”

“How many sisters do you have?”

“Three; one older, and two younger.”

“Are you close?”

“They were my best friends when I was younger.” Zayn confessed as he tied off Sam’s second braid. “There ya go, munchkin.”

“Thanks! Can you do my hair tomorrow?”

“Sorry, I’ve got cub duty tomorrow.”

“What’s cub duty?” Sam asked. She climbed onto the couch and curled into the space between Zayn and Liam.

“You remember when we were waiting on your Dad, and I told you that one of our tigers had babies a few weeks ago?” She nodded. “I have to watch the cubs tomorrow night. Take care of them, feed them and everything.”

“You get to _feed_ baby tigers?” She asked. She whipped her head around to look at Liam, who caught the wide-eyed look on her face. He chuckled.

“I do. I get to hold them, feed them, play with them, and even sleep with them.” She whipped her head back to look at Zayn when he spoke, the back to Liam.

“Daddy, can I work at the zoo, too?” Sam asked.

“Maybe when you’re older, bub. You know what time it is?” Liam asked. Sam sighed and pouted. “Bedtime!”

“I’m not tired.”

“I know. How ‘bout I read you a story?”

“Will you read me _Harry Potter_?”

“Sure.” Liam chuckled. “You wanna say goodnight to Zayn?”

“Goodnight, Zayn!” Sam said. “Thanks again for braiding my hair.”

“Of course, kiddo. I’ll see you later.” Sam walked back to her bedroom, and Liam turned to Zayn.

“If you don’t mind waiting, it shouldn’t be too long. Then we can watch a movie or something.” Zayn nodded.

It didn’t even take a chapter for Liam to get Sam to fall asleep. Liam stumbled through about ten pages or so before he looked up and saw her chest rising evenly. Liam kissed her on the head before he pulled the sheets a bit further up. He turned her nightlight on and left her door partially open as he left.

When he walked back out into the main room, Zayn wasn’t on the couch. Liam found him across the room, eyes moving slowly over the pictures on the mantle. He watched silently as Zayn picked up one of them. He knew from the placement that it was their family photo. They had it taken a couple months before the crash; it was the most recent picture they had of the three of them.

“Hey,” Liam said softly. Zayn jumped, turning around with a slightly pink face.

“Hi,” He replied, still holding the picture. Liam ducked into the kitchen to grab them each a beer.

“You can ask me anything.” Liam told him as he handed Zayn his drink.

“Do you miss her?”

“Every day.” Liam said instantly. “There’s this moment, when I wake up in the morning, when I don’t remember. I don’t remember that my wife is dead, and I don’t remember that I _have to_ get up because I have a daughter who’s counting on me. That moment is what I live for.”

“Liam–”

“It’s okay.” Liam took a swig of his beer and sat down on the couch. “Do you want to pick a movie?” Zayn nodded, silent, and moved to rifle through the cabinet Liam motioned to. He pulled out _The Avengers_ , which Liam had watched too many times, and he chuckled. Zayn looked at him, a questioning look in his eyes.

“That’s one of Sam’s favourites.”

“You let your six-year-old watch _The Avengers_?” He chuckled.

“Sophia hated that I let her, but Sam loves it.” Zayn rolled his eyes but followed Liam’s directions to set up the DVD player. He settled onto the couch, closer than before, and waited silently for Liam to press play when the title screen comes up.

***

After about six months of Zayn coming over nearly every week, Liam admitted it to himself: he enjoyed having Zayn around. He’s not Louis, who’s more like a brother than anything else. He’s a friend, an attractive friend. It had taken him a bit to get used to the idea that he was attracted to Zayn, but who wouldn’t be?

It’d only been a week or so since Liam had tried out the word ‘bisexual’ on his tongue, rolling it around in his mouth awkwardly after he’d put Sam to bed. It left a foreign, heavy feeling in his mouth. He’d never been attracted to a guy before. Now that he’d accepted it, he found himself looking at Zayn differently. Liam always knew he had a fit friend. There wasn’t anything wrong with admitting that. Straight men can say they have fit friends, right? However, admitting that he might want to kiss his friend, that might not be totally normal.

One night, after his sexual revelation, Liam had put in a movie when Sam had gone to bed, something Zayn suggested that he wasn’t really paying attention to. Instead, he was focused on his keeping his breathing even. Zayn had leaned against his side about fifteen minutes into the movie. It had quickly turned into cuddling; there was no way else to describe it.

Zayn’s skin was warm where it pressed against his. Zayn had curled himself under Liam’s arm while Liam had his back pressed against the back of the sofa. He had missed this: cuddling. It’d been so long since he’d sat like this with anyone excluding Sam. But he never thought about rolling on top of his daughter and kissing her. Not like he did with Zayn. He was almost positive Zayn could feel his staring, but he either didn’t care, or was too enraptured by the movie.

When the movie ended, and the credits rolled with the louder-than-needed music, it startled Liam. Playing it off, he sat up and stretched.

“I should probably head home,” Zayn muttered.

“How are you getting home? You rode here with us after the zoo.”

“There’s a subway down the road. My flat isn’t far.” Liam had a brief thought of inviting Zayn to stay. How, if he stayed, they could end up in a position like before, but in Liam’s _bed_. Instead, Liam nodded, and walked him to the door without a word.

“This was fun. I’m glad we got to hang out again,” Liam said. Zayn pulled him into a tight hug, lingering for a few moments longer than needed. That was another thing that had developed in the past few weeks: hugging. They often sharing small cuddles during their times together. Sometimes, Sam wiggled her way into their hugs, huffing about being left out. Now, though, Liam clutched tightly at the fabric of Zayn’s shirt that rested over his hips. As soon as Zayn hooked his chin over Liam’s slightly-taller shoulder, Liam let his arms circle at the bottom of Zayn’s spine, tugging him that much closer.

“If you want, you can come hang out with Niall, Harry, and me tomorrow night.” Zayn said when they parted.

“I-uh, yeah, sure. If I can find someone to watch Sam, I’ll be there.” Liam’s head was still swimming from the hug. He felt the ghost of Zayn’s body against his, but was snapped out of the memory when Zayn continued, unaffected.

“Cool, I’ll let you know when and where.”

Liam opened the door for Zayn and, after the dark-haired had walked down the hall and into the stairwell, Liam shut it. He cleaned the handful of discarded beer bottles off the table and, on his way to his room, checked on Sam. She was still sleeping peacefully. He pulled off his jeans to exchange them for gym shorts. After he brushed his teeth, he pulled off his shirt and fell into bed.

“Daddy?” A voice whispered in the dark. Noting the identity of the voice, Liam was instantly alert. He opened his eyes and focused on the small, black shape in the dark room.

“Sams,” He mumbled. “What’s wrong?”

“Just wanted to make sure you were okay.” She said. “Can I sleep with you?”

“Yeah,” He said. He shuffled backwards and pulled the sheets back. “C’mere.” She slid under the sheets and pressed herself against Liam’s chest. Liam wrapped an arm around his daughter. “Do you wanna talk?”

“I don’t remember my dream, but when I woke up, I was sad, and I knew I was scared you were gone.”

“Gone like Mommy?”

“Yeah,” She whispered voice almost inaudible.

“I’m here, and I don’t plan on going anywhere.” Liam said. “I love you, kiddo.”

“Love you, Daddy.” She sniffled once and shuffled around until she was comfortable. A few minutes later, her breathing was even, and Liam could fall back asleep.

“Sams?” Liam called. “Your aunt is here!”

“Auntie Lottie!” Sam squealed as she ran into the room. She jumped into Louis’ younger sister’s arms, giggling as she spun her around. “Is Uncle Louis here, too?”

“Soon, lovely,” Lottie said as she set her down. “Uncle Lou and your daddy are going out, so we get to have a girl’s night!”

“Will you paint my fingernails? Daddy sucks.”

“ _Hey_ ,” Liam chastised through an exaggerated whine. “I may not be the best, but don’t be mean.”

“Sorry, Daddy.” She bounced over to hug Liam’s legs, cheering when there was another knock on the door and Louis walked in.

“Uncle Lou!” She shrieked and launched herself at Louis. Unfazed, he caught her and spun her around.

“Hey, Sammy-Sam! How’s my favourite kid?”

“I’m not your kid, silly, I’m Daddy’s!”

“Oh, silly me!”

“How are you?” Louis repeated.

“Excited for girl’s night! Auntie Lottie is going to paint my nails!”

“Oh boy! What colour were you thinking?”

“Maybe blue. Or red. Oh! I know! Purple!” Her face was scrunched up in deep thought, and Louis chuckled at her. Liam walked over and tapped her lightly on the nose.

“Purple sounds lovely.” Liam said, stealing his daughter. “You be good for Lottie, okay?”

“I will, promise!”

“I’ll see you later, Sams, yeah? I’ll be back before you even wake up.” Sam nodded with a grin on her face and, when Liam tapped his cheek, she pressed a kiss there.

“Alright, have fun, girls. Lou, c’mon.” Liam bundled his friend out the door before he could second-guess himself and cling to his daughter. “Call me if you need me, Lottie!”

“This is the place,” Liam told Louis as they passed a bar.

“Well, c’mon, then!” Louis pulled Liam into the bar and they both stood awkwardly in the doorway until Liam spotted Zayn. He pointed out the group to Louis, who froze.

“ _That’s_ , Zayn?!” Liam nodded. “Liam, he’s totally fucking hot!”

“Lou,” Liam warned.

“No, Liam, he is literally sex-with-legs. And that jawline, _damn_!”

“C’mon, let’s join them before they think we’re lost.”

There was a flurry of greetings and introductions as Liam and Louis joined them. Harry almost immediately asked Louis to dance, and then it was Zayn, Liam, and Niall in the booth. Liam’s side tingled from the warmth Zayn was putting out. He had cuddled up to Liam’s side to show him a video of the now-mostly-grown tiger cubs earlier and hadn’t moved back. Liam didn’t really mind; he welcomed the warmth. It reminded him of late-night, weekend movies with Sam pressed against him.

A waitress dropped off another round of five shots. Niall downed his and excused himself from the table. Zayn pushed two of the remaining shots closer to Liam before he threw one back. Liam watched the column of his neck bob before he was met with Zayn’s dark eyes.

“You okay?” Liam nodded, throwing one of the shots back himself.

He was well on his way to being drunk if the warmth in his cheeks was anything to go by. He had just stumbled to the toilets, which made him fully aware of how much alcohol he’d consumed.

“Wanna dance?” Liam rolled his head around lazily to look at Zayn, raising an eyebrow at his question.

“I’m rubbish even when I’m sober.” He warned, cheeks pushing up into a smile. Zayn laughed loudly and took Liam’s hand to pull him out of the booth.

They started a respectable distance from each other. There was nearly a foot between them, a vast distance considering how many people were crowded onto the dance floor. However, when a more sensual song came on, more patrons joined the dancing, causing Zayn to step forward into Liam’s space.

Liam’s breath hitched when Zayn essentially fell into him. The slim shape of his body pressed against Liam’s did nothing to help Liam’s intoxication. Out of reflex, Liam’s hands gripped Zayn’s hips so he wouldn’t topple over. Before long, Liam found himself dancing with Zayn, their bodies pressed together.

One of Zayn’s legs slipped between Liam’s as their bodies moved with the beat. He snaked an arm around Zayn’s back to hold him close, lost in the way their crotches brushed against each other. When Liam’s dick twitched in interest, Liam’s eyes widened. He knew Zayn had felt it, given their bodies being pressed so closely together. He felt his cheeks burn and couldn’t excuse himself before Zayn crashed their lips together.

Liam made a shocked noise at the contact but didn’t pull back. He allowed his mouth to be plundered by Zayn’s tongue. He felt his cock taking more interest, half hard in his pants when Zayn pulled back to suck a mark into his collarbone. Liam pressed his hips forward into Zayn’s subtly, biting back a moan when Zayn did the same in response.

“Fuck, Liam,” Zayn groaned. He tangled a hand in the hair on the nape of Liam’s neck, pulling him back in for another firm kiss. Liam could feel his cock pressing insistently against his zipper now. He didn’t even want to think of what Louis would say to him if he saw this. His thoughts of Louis’ disappointment quickly travelled to Lottie, who was watching Sam.

_Sam_.

Liam pushed Zayn back, firmly, but politely.

“Fuck, Zayn, I can’t…I’m sorry.” He pushed a hand into his jeans to adjust his cock. It was leaking, begging for attention, and gave a firm twitch at his touch, but he ignored it, shoving down the arousal. “I’ve got Sam, Zayn.”

“We can go to mine,” Zayn said, curling his fingers into Liam’s shirt. “Please, Liam, I want you.” Liam’s cock twitched again, and, against his better judgement, he nodded.

Zayn pulled him outside but, before he could go anywhere, Liam pressed Zayn up against the outer wall of the club and kissed him. Zayn moaned softly into the kiss, letting Liam control it this time. When Liam pulled back, Zayn looked wrecked. His lips were bruised and puffy, his eyes dark, and his hair mussed. He looked gorgeous.

They quickly hailed a cab thanks to Liam’s height and long arms. He kept his hands to himself once they settled into the backseat of the cab, but he couldn’t say the same for Zayn. Almost immediately, Zayn had a hand on his thigh, kneading the muscle firmly. Stiffening as his hand shifted higher, Liam laid a hand over Zayn’s.

“Z, please,” Liam whispered, flickering his gaze up to the driver. In Zayn’s defense, he wasn’t paying them any attention, but Liam couldn’t help but feel awkward. Zayn simply smirked, but he backed off a few inches, letting Liam breathe a bit easier. The hand was still tracing over the inner seam of Liam’s jeans.

After Zayn unlocked his front door, Liam followed him into the dark room. He felt Zayn’s searching hand brush over his abs before they latched onto the front of his jeans. He felt Zayn pop the button and push the fabric down slowly.

“Wanna suck you off,” Zayn said.

“Fuck, Zayn.”

“Can I, Li? Wanna get my mouth on you so bad.”

“Yeah, yeah, Zayn, you can.” It took a second before Zayn had Liam’s boxers pushed down to mid-thigh. He shuddered when the cool air hit the exposed skin, and nearly sobbed when Zayn’s hand wrapped around his aching cock. The ride here had done nothing to calm Liam down, especially with Zayn’s teasing; he was just as turned on as he was when they were dancing in the club.

Even with his eyes adjusting to the dark, he could only just make out Zayn’s shape knelt on the floor. He allowed his eyes to slip closed as Zayn pulled on his cock lazily. However, they shot open at the first bold lick up the shaft. Once at the top, Liam felt lips wrap around the head of his cock.

With no warning, Zayn took almost all of Liam into his mouth. Liam heard a tiny gag which shouldn’t have turned him on more but did. Liam felt like he might pass out, so he leaned against the wall to stay upright. He heard another zipper in the dark, imagining Zayn opening his pants to stroke his dick as he saw a shape get tossed through the air and fabric hit the floor.

Zayn took his mouth off Liam and replaced it with his hand. It was only a couple seconds until his mouth was back. A moment later, Zayn moaned around Liam’s cock, and Liam can’t help but buck his hips forward. Zayn gagged and pressed a hand against Liam’s hip to keep him still.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry,” Liam muttered. He tangled a hand in Zayn’s hair, silently telling him to go faster. The man below him got the message, and he sped up his bobbing slightly. Only minutes later, Liam felt the familiar bubbling low in his stomach. “Gonna come,” he warned, and his hips stuttered. He swore when Zayn pulled off, an obscene ‘pop!’ in the otherwise quiet room.

“Bedroom,” Zayn said. His voice was gravelly, and Liam felt a wave of arousal slice through him, knowing he’s the cause of that. Liam nodded, even though Zayn can’t see him, and let Zayn pull him further into the flat, stumbling because of his pants, which he fixed quickly so he can walk.

Zayn made quick work of his remaining clothes, throwing them onto the floor without another thought. He pressed his mouth against Liam’s again, and Liam could taste himself on the other man’s tongue. He licked at Zayn’s mouth until all that’s left is the taste of Zayn and fell onto the bed next to him.

“Condom is in the bedside table. Lube, too,” Zayn said. Liam paused.

“I – uh, Zayn?”

“Hmm?” Zayn hummed, settling on his back. He pulled Liam on top of him to kiss him again, whining when Liam pulled back.

“I’ve never – at least, not with a guy. Um,” Liam could feel his cheeks beginning to get hot. “What do I do?”

“I fingered myself while I was sucking you off, so I’m ready. All you need is a condom and then lube yourself up.” Liam’s cock twitched again. That must’ve been what he was doing when he took his pants off. Liam leaned over to where the bedside table is, digging around for a foil packet and lube. He found both after an embarrassing amount of time and sat back on his knees.

Liam tore open the condom and rolled it onto his cock. He fumbled around for the cap of the lube for a bit before he found it, squirting some into his hand. He tugged his cock, spreading the slippery gel, and knelt between Zayn’s legs.

Using his fingers, he searched for Zayn’s entrance, brushing against it. Zayn hummed softly. Liam used his finger to guide himself to the right place. Pushing his hips forward, he eased into Zayn, almost collapsing from the squeeze on his cock. He moved slowly, giving both him and Zayn time to adjust. Liam had to take a few deep breaths to calm himself. Shifting his hips forward an inch, Zayn hummed as his slow, worried pace continued.

“Go ahead,” Zayn mumbled. Liam nodded into the darkness but settled himself into a comfortable position. He pulled his hips back, the drag of Zayn’s rim almost too much, just to press back into the warmth after a second’s hesitation. Liam felt awkward, almost like a virgin.

“Okay?” Liam asked, needing to hear Zayn.

“Yeah, babe. Can go faster.” Liam pulled his hips back again, pressing in immediately after. He heard Zayn let out a soft groan, an audible confirmation that Zayn was worked up, too. Liam kept his hips where they were, fully buried in Zayn, and leant down to press a kiss to random skin. Zayn’s skin was warm, flushed, under his lips.

They’re lost in a mess of sweat-slicked skin, breathy moans, and whispered words after that. Zayn gave Liam small directions, giving him feedback like, ‘harder,’ or ‘yeah, do that again,’ until he was squirming under the broader lad. It wasn’t long until Zayn snaked a hand down to pull on his cock. He breathed out a curse, fucking up into his fist. With a groan that had Liam faltering, Zayn came over his fist, gradually slowing his hand down as Liam speeds up his hips. Liam pressed his face into Zayn’s neck, panting, as he felt his orgasm crash over him. He took a moment to catch his breath, then pulled out of Zayn and tied up the condom.

“Where’s your trash can?” Liam asked. Zayn mumbled a few words that sounded like ‘sink’ and ‘bathroom,’ and Liam shuffled off the bed to dispose of the condom. He grabbed a washcloth and wet it before delivering it to Zayn.

“Mmm, thanks.” Liam stood by the bed awkwardly, unsure if this was the time to say bye and walk out. “Will you turn the bathroom light off?” Liam couldn’t help but chuckle, but did as requested, turning off the light.

“Get over here.” Zayn grumbled.

“What?”

“You fucked me, now you’ve gotta cuddle me.” Zayn said. Liam rolled his eyes, but felt his cheeks push up in a soft smile. He carefully walked over to the bed and crawled in beside Zayn, allowing the darker-haired lad to shuffle over to him. Zayn fit himself snugly against Liam’s side, let out a sigh, and seconds later, was breathing evenly.

After a firm conversation with himself, he decided that he wasn’t going to freak out about sleeping with Zayn. It didn’t have to mean anything, even if Liam thought his feelings for Zayn went a bit deeper than friendship. If Zayn didn’t like him like that, Liam could be okay with that. After all, Zayn would never be his first priority.

A harsh, loud ringing woke Liam up. He didn’t recognise his surroundings, but knew he wasn’t in his own bed by the way the sheets felt on his exposed skin. From the light provided by the ringing phone, he was able to see that, indeed, he wasn’t in his own room. The ringing stopped, but the light stayed, bathing the other body next to Liam in light. Zayn looked softer, younger, in his sleep.

The phone started ringing again.

“Fuck off,” Zayn grumbled, pulling a pillow over his head. Liam chuckled, but pulled on his boxers from the floor next to the bed quickly to answer his phone. He got to the device as soon as it stopped ringing, displaying the time and flashing his notifications at him. His heart stopped.

7 Text Messages from: Lottie  
Four Missed Calls from: Lottie

“Shit, shit, shit,” Liam fumbled the phone in his hands, ignoring the rustling on the bed behind him. He frantically mashed the buttons on his phone that allowed him to call Lottie back. His heart was racing in his chest. He had told her to call if she needed him, but everyone always says that. Liam didn’t expect her to _actually_ need him.

“Liam!” Lottie’s relieved voice was loud in the quiet room, but Liam was too jittery to think about leaving so he wouldn’t wake Zayn.

“Lottie, what’s going on? Is Sam okay?” Liam heard rustling coming from the bed in the silence that followed his question. “Lottie?”

“Physically, she’s fine. She was sleeping, Liam, I don’t know what happened!”

“Lottie, tell me what’s wrong.” Liam could hear the panic in his voice. The bed creaked.

“She’s hysterical; she keeps going on and on about you being dead. Where the hell have you been? It’s almost nine!”

“Fuck,” Liam pulled the phone from his ear for a second to see the time there, mocking him, making his stomach churn. It was 8:42. Sam woke up about eight, which meant she hasn’t known where her father was for almost an hour. “Fuck!”

“Liam?” Liam turned to the voice that obviously didn’t belong to Lottie. Zayn was standing behind him, wearing sweatpants, with furrowed brows and a frown on his face. “What’s wrong?”

“I told Sam I’d be back last night; she woke up, and I wasn’t there. She’s freaking out. I have to go.” He focused back on the phone call. “Lottie, tell her I’m okay. I’ll be there in less than twenty minutes.” Once he heard the tone signaling Lottie had hung up, Liam was stumbling around the apartment, looking for his clothes.

“Liam, are you okay?”

“Fuck, Zayn, I’m not okay. My daughter thinks I’m _dead_. I promised her I’d be back last night, and I wasn’t, and now she thinks I’m dead.”

“Hey, calm down.”

“I can’t calm down, Zayn! I have to go!” He said. He muttered to himself, under his breath, as he searched the apartment, “Where the hell are my shoes?”

“I’ve got them.” Zayn said. Liam turned to find Zayn, fully dressed, with Liam’s shoes in hand. He was holding two sets of keys, one Liam’s. “C’mon.”

“What?”

“I’ll drive you. Won’t take more than ten minutes to get there.”

“Thanks.”

“Do something for me first?” Liam nodded, tugging his shoes on. The heels of his shoes were folded in a bit, making the fit uncomfortable, but Liam could care less. “Look at me.” They locked eyes. “Now, take a deep breath.”

“Zayn, I –”

“Liam, do it!” Zayn barked. “You can’t walk into that house freaking out, or you’ll scare her even more. Get yourself together, and then we can go.” Liam nodded. He stood there for a few moments, breathing deeply, before he looked up at Zayn again.

“Okay, I’m ready.” Liam’s hands were shaking at his sides, and he could still feel his heart hammering in his chest, but Zayn ushered him out of the apartment, and they made their way to Liam’s apartment.

When Liam walked into his apartment, it was eerily quiet. Maybe Lottie had been able to calm her down. Liam shrugged out of his jacket carefully, toed his shoes off, and made his way down the hall. As he got closer to his room, he heard water running. He opened the door slowly, his heart aching with the sight.

Lottie was holding Sam, wrapped in a towel, swaying slightly. She was humming. She locked eyes with Liam and shook her head. Liam pulled off his shirt and entered the steamed-up bathroom, holding his arms out for Sam.

“Sammy-Sam, looks who’s here.” Lottie’s voice was soft, but Liam saw his daughter’s tear-stained face pop up. As soon as she met her father’s eyes, she burst into tears again, screaming as she wiggled in Lottie’s arms. Liam quickly took her, thanking his friend softly as she walked out.

“No!” Sam yelled. She fought against Liam’s hold, but he held her tight. He knew it was just the emotions. She had spent over an hour thinking he was dead, and now he just walked into the bathroom. She was overwhelmed.

“I’m sorry I was late, Sams. Was an accident.” He murmured into her hair. Her hair was wet. Liam figured Lottie had coaxed her into a bath to calm her down. Liam grabbed a hairbrush and pulled it through her hair for a bit before replacing the brush with his fingers. “I love you, Sam.” He had unconsciously resumed the swaying that Lottie had been doing, the movement calming her.

“Daddy,” Sam choked out.

“I’m right here. I’ve got you, Sam. I’m here.” He hummed softly, moving out of the bathroom. He made his way down the hall and into the main room. He pulled the curtains closed with one hand, darkening the space to keep Sam calm. He went through the motions of putting a movie in before he settled down on the couch. He saw movement from the corner of his eye, but didn’t look up until Zayn came back, holding random clothes from Sam’s room.

“There’s a shirt on my bed, will you grab that?” Liam asked softly, taking the offered clothing. Zayn nodded and was gone a moment later. Liam quickly pulled the underwear and black leggings Zayn had given him onto Sam, who had previously been wrapped in a towel. When Zayn returned, Liam coaxed his daughter into the shirt. She collapsed into his chest as the title menu for the movie restarted. He pressed play and lowered the volume, covering them both with a blanket. He beckoned Zayn, who was hovering at the edge of the room, onto the couch with his head.

When Sam’s fists relaxed, and her breathing evened out, Liam let out a breath.

“Thanks.” Liam said.

Zayn shuffled carefully next to Liam, body wound tight. He was obviously uncomfortable. Liam shuffled them around on the couch until they were all laying down together. Zayn had his back pressed against the back of the sofa, curled up to Liam’s side while Sam lay on his bare chest.

Liam felt a soft finger on his arm. He turned to look at Zayn, eyebrows furrowed. Zayn was staring intently at his arm.

“You have tattoos.” He muttered.

“I have quite a few. Sam loves them.”

***

Liam didn’t remember falling asleep, but when he woke up, he had a minor headache, and his neck was sore. Zayn was fast asleep by his side, and Sam was still breathing evenly on his chest. Liam carefully extracted himself from the tangle of arms and legs when his bladder notified him of its fullness. He settled Sam back down, and he watched her curl into Zayn’s chest unconsciously, making Liam’s heart ache.

He quickly relieved himself before pulling on a shirt. He quietly worked in the kitchen, preparing sandwiches for lunch. He heard feet padding softly towards him, and he looked up. He smiled at Zayn, still holding Sam. Zayn had an arm under her bottom, holding her up, and a hand pressed against her back to keep her stable.

“Hey,” Liam said softly. Liam had the urge to pull Zayn close and kiss him but wasn’t sure how that would be received. Instead, he turned away to continue with lunch.

“You okay?” Zayn’s voice was soft, careful.

“I should be asking you that. I’m fairly used to this.” Liam chuckled. “Are _you_ okay?”

“Yeah. I’m worried about her, though.” Zayn glanced down at the girl in his arms.

“She’ll be tired when she wakes up, and maybe a little embarrassed.”

“Then how about a distraction?” Zayn said with a mischievous look on his face.

“Oh, boy,” Liam chuckled. “What did you have in mind?” Zayn just winked at him and walked out.

A bit later, when Liam was almost done with lunch, he wanders back to Zayn. Sam was still asleep, curled into his chest. He hated to do this, but lunch was ready.

“Would you mind waking her up?” Liam asked. Zayn shook his head, and Liam walked back into the kitchen to finish up. Not even five minutes later, Liam heard Sam.

“Daddy?” He could her the concern laced into the single word and quickly wiped his hands on a towel. Upon entering the room, he saw Sam with her knees pulled to her chest, still on the couch. She looked tiny, curled up like that.

“Sam.” Liam walked up to the couch, and Sam stood up. Liam’s shirt swallowed her, but the smell of it when she was having a panic attack helped her calm down. The wide neck fell off her slim shoulders, and Liam righted it before he tugged Sam to him. “You okay?” She nodded into his neck but didn’t say anything else.

She was embarrassed, he could tell. She’s hardly ever this quiet. “C’mon, bub. Zayn has a surprise for you.” Her head popped up at that, curiosity peaked.

“What is it?” She asked.

“Gotta ask Zayn, love. He wouldn’t tell me.” She wriggled in Liam’s arms until he let go, and she ran to Zayn.

“Z, what are we doing?” She asked, ever so polite. She had her head craned back to look up at him, and he knelt to look her in the eye.

“If you help me convince your father, we might be about to have a picnic in the park.” Sam whipped her head around, and Liam saw her eyes twinkling.

“Can we go, Daddy?” She begged.

“Yeah. Can we Daddy?” Zayn smirked behind Sam. His eyebrows raised suggestively, and Liam’s stomach swooped with arousal.

“I-uh, um, yeah!” Liam coughed. “Of course, we can.” Zayn’s tongue flicked out to wet his lips, and the movement caught Liam’s attention. They were shiny from spit, but they looked soft. Liam could remember exactly how they felt against his while they kissed in Zayn’s bed last night. He looked up at Zayn, and he was already looking back. He could tell from the look on Zayn’s face that he knew what Liam was thinking, or at least could get a general idea.

“Want help packing a basket?” Zayn asked suddenly. Liam nodded, blinking his thanks. They left Sam on the couch with a new movie playing and padded into the kitchen. Not even a second after the rounded the corner out of Sam’s sight, Zayn grabbed Liam’s arm. He pressed up onto his toes and their lips met in a firm kiss. Liam sighed softly, wrapping an arm around Zayn’s back as the other came up to cup his face.

They snogged lazily, continuing even as Liam pressed Zayn back against the edge of the counter. Now more familiar with the way Zayn kissed, Liam tangled a hand in Zayn’s hair to tilt his head into a better angle. He deepened the kiss. A tiny, but knee-weakening whimper escaped Zayn’s lips and Liam groaned. It wasn’t avoidable, the way Liam crowded Zayn even closer to the counter.

“Fuck,” Liam breathed. He pressed his forehead to Zayn’s, giving them both a chance to breathe. Zayn’s hands clutched the fabric at Liam’s sides.

“I’d like that,” Zayn murmured.

“What?”

“I’d like to fuck you, Liam.” Zayn groaned. He pressed his hips forward, and Liam could feel the outline of his cock against his thigh. “Want to feel your mouth on me. Fuck, you do things to me.”

Shock raced through Liam. He’d never been with a guy, and past kissing one is uncharted territory. Other than last night with Zayn when they were drunk, Liam had no experience. It was kind of terrifying.

“Where’d you go?” He heard Zayn ask. Liam shook his head to knock him out of his daze, taking a step back to help.

“I’m here.”

“What happened? What was that?”

“I’ve never been with a guy before.” Liam admitted softly, embarrassed.

“I know that, Liam.”

“I don’t know what to do. I don’t _how_ any of this works.”

“Well, do you want to learn?” Zayn asked.

“I’d like to learn from you.” Liam stepped closer to Zayn. He slouched down to hover his lips over Zayn’s. Zayn whined when he waited a beat too long. He held Zayn’s face with both hands and pressed their lips together firmly. Liam sank slowly to his knees in front of Zayn. Liam held eyes contact with him. Seeing his dark eyes, blown from lust, made the swooping feeling come back to his stomach.

Liam pressed a hand to the bulge in front of his face. He palmed it, and he felt Zayn’s thighs tense. As Zayn’s head lolled back, Liam rose until he was face-to-face with Zayn. He leaned in, mouth close to Zayn’s ear. “We should pack the basket.”

Liam heard Zayn let out a deep breath, and he smirked to himself. He felt a presence behind him and felt Zayn’s lean body press against his back.

“You’re such a fucking tease.” Zayn whispered, voice rasping in his ear. “Can you feel what you did to me?” He pressed his hips into Liam’s ass, grinding against him slowly. Liam braced himself against the counter.

“Daddy?” They broke apart just in time for Sam to walk into the kitchen. “When are we leaving?”

“Shortly, bub. Why don’t you go put your shoes and socks on?” Out of the corner of his eye, Liam saw Zayn adjust himself behind the counter. It felt good to know that Liam could have this kind of affect on him. As soon as Sam ran out of the kitchen, Liam started to pack the basket. When he had to lean into a dazed-looking, flushed Zayn to grab a few cookies, Liam pressed a chaste kiss to his mouth.

Liam wasn’t sure what they were, but if he got to kiss Zayn whenever he wanted, he could be alright with whatever they decided.

“I’m going to swing, Daddy!” Sam didn’t even give Liam a chance to reply before she ran off. They’d been at the park a total of five minutes. She had bounced on her toes the entire walk to the park and couldn’t even wait until they put the blanket down to run off.

Once Liam got everything settled, he stretched out on the blanket, hoping to get some sun. He could see Zayn eyeing him. He knew he looked good, and was hoping to catch Zayn’s attention. Looks like it worked.

Zayn shuffled over to lay next to Liam. “You have no idea how bad I want to get you in bed right now.” Liam felt his face flush. He wasn’t used to how forward Zayn was.

When Sam finally got hungry enough to wander back, they ate their lunch. Liam couldn’t help but think they looked like a family. He shook his head. He’s only known Zayn six months. Just because they’ve slept together, doesn’t mean anything.

***

“Daddy, when will Zaynie be here?” Sam was playing on the floor, obviously bored. He was coming over for dinner and a movie.

“Any minute, Sams. Be patient.” She sighed, collapsing onto the floor. Liam chuckled at her dramatics. Hardly a minute later, there was a knock on the door. Sam jumped up and was at the door by the time Zayn opened it, calling a hello. Sam jumped into his arms.

“Sammy!” Zayn grinned and twirled the small girl around. “Hey, Li.” Liam waved, moving to put their previously-decided-upon movie in.

The title screen for _The Little Mermaid_ came up a few minutes later. Sam came crashing onto the couch, shrieking and giggling as she bounced. Zayn, much calmer, sat on Liam’s other side. He held Sam’s dinner in one hand, his in the other.

“Hey,” Zayn greeted again, softly, more intimately than before.

“Hey,” Liam grinned.

Liam wanted to kiss Zayn; it was all he could think about. He hardly paid attention to the movie, too preoccupied with Zayn’s cologne tickling his nose.

By the time the movie ended, Sam was asleep. Liam carefully picked her up and took her into her room. Zayn was close behind him. After pressing a kiss to Sam’s head, he settled her into bed and tucked her in.

Liam led Zayn back to his bedroom, immediately pressing him against the door after it closed. It was a mess of lips and hands and moans, lost in the space between them. Liam slotted a thigh between Zayn’s leg, grinding against him.

“Teach me,” Liam gasped.

“What?”

“Wanna suck you off.”

“Okay, okay,” Zayn fumbled with his belt. “Fuck, okay.” Liam stilled his hands, undoing his belt with deft fingers. When his belt was undone, Liam pulled off Zayn’s shirt. He held Zayn’s slim hips between his hands, taking all of him in. He already looked fucked: eyes blown, hair wild, pants undone. Liam pulled off his shirt in response, trying to help Zayn feel a little more comfortable. He wouldn’t want to be the only naked one in a room.

“Okay, what now?” Zayn undid his pants the rest of the way, letting his cock bob up. It stuck straight out from where his sharp v-lines met the neat patch of dark hair.

“On your knees.” Liam obeyed immediately, dropping to his knees in front of Zayn. “Now, wrap your mouth around the head, get it wet, and slowly work your way down the shaft. If you lick it, get it wet first, your mouth slides easier.” Liam nodded, determined.

He licked his lips a couple times, eyeing the exposed skin in front of him. He reached a trembling hand up to grasp the warm skin, giving it an experimental tug. He heard Zayn sigh. Spurred by Zayn’s soft sighs and his squirming, Liam closed his mouth over Zayn’s tip. Zayn swore. Without taking his mouth off, Liam glanced up. Zayn’s cheeks were bright pink, lips parted. Liam saw his tongue dart out to wet his lips as he slowly inched his way up Zayn’s shaft.

Liam started up a rhythm, bobbing his head carefully. He couldn’t go all the way to the base, his throat not accommodating the intrusion. A few times, he went down a bit too far and gagged. Zayn didn’t laugh, though. He simply eased a hand into Liam’s hair, scratching at his scalp a bit.

“Less teeth, babe,” Zayn said.

“How?” Liam asked after he pulled off. He used his hand to continue pumping Zayn, grip firm.

“Hmmm, wrap your lips over your teeth.” Liam nodded, and replaced his hand with his mouth after making sure to hide his teeth. “Yeah, just like that, fuck. Don’t be afraid to touch.”

“What do you mean?” Liam asked.

“My- fuck!” Liam chose that moment to lick a bold stripe up the underside of Zayn’s cock. He had to suck in a deep breath, letting it out slowly, before he could continue. “My balls, the perineum, my asshole, anything like that, don’t be afraid to touch it.” He panted quietly.

“Will you lay down on the bed?” Liam asked, a good plan forming in his mind. Zayn nodded and laid on the bed. Signaling for Zayn to lift his hips, he pulled his pants the rest of the way off, leaving Zayn completely naked. “God, you’re fit.” Liam pressed a kiss to one of Zayn’s hips before wrapping a hand around his dick.

Once Liam got his mouth back on Zayn, he let his other hand wander. He massaged Zayn’s very firm thigh, squeezing and kneading. He let his hand drift lower, circling around Zayn’s puckered hole. He put a little pressure behind it, hoping to get a greater reaction out of Zayn than just sighs.

“Trying to finger me?” Zayn asked.

“I – Uh – Trying, yeah.” Liam’s mouth came off with an obscene ‘pop.’ “That’s a good word for it.”

“Do you have any lube?” Zayn asked, pressing up onto his elbow to look at Liam directly.

“Uh, no?” Zayn chuckled.

“That’s okay. Suck on a couple fingers, it’ll make it easier to get your finger in.” Liam nodded, motioning for Zayn to lay back again. Liam sucked a couple fingers into his mouth, not sure how long to suck on them to get them wet.

He moved back between Zayn’s legs, pressing a finger firmly to his entrance. Liam could tell that there was a little more give and pressed a bit firmer.

“You won’t hurt me, babe. I’ve done this before, yeah?” Zayn said softly.

Liam took Zayn’s cock back into his mouth a little too eagerly, and he had to pull straight back off as he started coughing.

“Fuck, I’m so bad at this,” Liam groaned. He laughed so he wouldn’t tug on his hair, but Zayn immediately saw through it.

“You’re doing great. Don’t push yourself, though.”

Liam continued where he left off. He pressed firmly enough to get his finger in, and slowly matched the rhythms of his mouth and finger together. Feeling bold, he pressed another finger in beside the first one, stretching Zayn further.

“Fuck, Liam,” Zayn was panting, his hands gripping the sheets against his sides until his knuckles were white. “Crook your fingers, like you’re beckoning someone closer.” Liam did as told and was shocked when Zayn’s entire body jumped. “Fuck, yeah, _fuck_!”

Liam continued, feeling the muscles around his finger fluttering. He figured Zayn was getting closer. Just as the thought crossed his mind, Zayn warned him.

“I’m gonna come, Li.” Liam simply hummed, wanting to taste Zayn. His breathing was quick and shallow until Liam saw his abs tense. Zayn slapped a hand over his mouth right before he squeezed his eyes shut and let out a low groan. Liam’s eyes widened when a salty, bitter taste hit the back of his mouth. Liam quickly swallowed, the taste unfamiliar, but not as disgusting as he thought it would be.

Liam pulled off and wiped his mouth off with the back of his hand, pride rushing through him. His first blowjob and he made Zayn cum.

“That was so good, Liam,” Zayn praised. “Come here.” Liam leaned down and pressed his lips to Zayn’s. Immediately, Zayn licked into his mouth. There was no doubt that he could taste himself on Liam’s mouth, but he didn’t seem to mind.

Liam felt Zayn pull at the front of his pants, and he pushed his hand past the waistband and into Liam’s pants, wrapping a hand around him. Zayn quickly got him off, the buildup of the night too much.

“I hope you’ll stay.” Liam said while he watched Zayn’s biceps flex as he bent his arms to scrub a towel through his hair. Zayn froze. They had made out in the shower together lazily until the spray had gone a tad cold. Only then had he spun Zayn around to clean his hair. He took care to massage his muscles when Zayn had given his consent to wash his body.

“What?” Zayn asked.

“The night.” Liam clarified. “You can join us for breakfast. You don’t have to, of course, but it would be a nice surprise for Sam in the morning.” The smile on Zayn’s face gave him the answer, but Zayn still nodded.

“I’d love to.”

When they fell into bed, having pulled on shorts after their showers, they curled closely together. They shared air until finally, exhausted, they fell asleep.

Liam was awake. He wasn’t sure what woke him, but he strained his ears to listen for any sounds. It took a moment, but soft voices floated to his ears, before one started into a soft, slow song. Ever curious, Liam eased himself out of bed and padded down the hall, following the sound. He found it coming from Sam’s bedroom. Liam peeked into the room, and his heart swelled from the sight:

Zayn, rocking and swaying, with Sam in his arms.

He was singing. Liam couldn’t hear the words, but he could hear the softness in Zayn’s voice. He heard Sam’s soft sniffles, her voice scratchy from crying, and Zayn paused his song to reply in a soft whisper. Liam leaned against the door frame to watch the sight until Sam seemed to calm down. Zayn pressed a kiss to her forehead, smiled as he listened to something Sam said, and pressed another kiss. He set her down on her bed and pulled the sheets back up how she likes them.

“Night,” Sam called as Zayn turned away.

“Sweet dreams, love.”

Zayn quietly left the room, jumping a bit when he met Liam at the door.

“I was hoping you’d get some sleep,” Zayn said, face a bit red.

“Trying to hide?”

“She woke me up and you were still sleeping, figured I’d give it a try and come get you if I couldn’t calm her down.”

“But you did,” Liam pulled Zayn closer and kissed him softly. “You’re good with her.”

“She’s an easy kid.”

“What did she say, just then, that made you smile?”

“I gave her a kiss, and she said, ‘what about from Daddy?’ and the second kiss was from you.” Liam tangled a hand in the hair at the nape of Zayn’s neck, pulling him to his chest. He had to stop himself from saying anything rash, like telling Zayn he loved him. After the thought ran through his head, Liam felt guilty. He hadn’t been with anyone since Sophia. But, after seeing the way Zayn is with Sam, Liam could see himself falling for Zayn.

***

Zayn became a constant fixture in their lives after that. He went from staying over once a week, to a few times a week, to basically every day. He spent his days working at the zoo with the lion, tigers, or other big cats, and came back to the apartment for dinner. He became a part of their nightly routine.

“Zaynie?” Sam asked. She padded up to him, quiet. She looked a little nervous, which confused Zayn.

“What’s up, Sammy?”

“Will you braid my hair?”

“Of course, bub. One or Two?”

“Two, please!” She chirped. When she was settled between Zayn’s legs on the floor, he brushed and parted her hair before starting to braid. Shortly after he started, Liam joined them.

“You’re so much better than Daddy.” Liam chuckled and tugged on her hair softly.

“Don’t be mean, Sams.”

“I’ve had more practice than your daddy, silly.”

When Zayn was done with her hair, Sam jumped into his lap to wrap her arms around him.

“Thanks, Z.” Sam said. She turned to Liam and hugged him, too. “Sorry I was mean, Daddy.”

“It’s okay, bub.”

“Will you read me a story?”

“Yeah, sure. Go ahead and pick one out. I’ll be right up.” She scampered down the hall, and Liam watched her disappear into her bedroom.

“Are you staying the night?” Liam addressed to the darker-haired lad beside him.

“No. I’ve got cub duty again.”

“Haven’t they grown up yet?” Liam chuckled.

“The tiger cubs have, yeah, but now I’m in charge of the lion cubs.”

“Maybe next time, then.” Liam said.

“I’m ready!” Sam called from her room.

“C’mon. I’m sure she’ll want to say goodnight.”

Liam led Zayn down the short hallway into Sam’s room. She was already curled up under her sheets, a purple stuffed dog under her arm.

“What are we reading tonight, Sams?” Liam asked, settling down next to his daughter.

“Can Zayn read it?”

“You’ll have to ask him.”

“Zaynie?” Sam started with her sweetest voice. Liam chuckled. “Would you please read to me?”

“Sure. What am I reading?”

After Sam told him the title of the book, he settled onto the bed. He started reading, voice full of excitement, slowly becoming more and more even. Without any stumbles in his reading, Liam found his own eyes drooping. Zayn was only halfway through the short book before he looked up to see Sam asleep. Liam carefully extracted himself from Sam’s side while Zayn put the book away.

Once Zayn had gone to work, Liam moved about the kitchen, cleaning and straightening up from his dinner preparations. He rinsed the dishes and loaded the dishwasher to run overnight. When he was done with that, he headed to bed. After he had a quick shower and brushed his teeth, he crawled into bed early.

A scream woke him up.

Still groggy from sleep, it took Liam a moment or two to figure out what was going on. By the second scream, Liam was down the hall, phone lighting the way out of habit even though he knew it by heart. He burst into the room, immediately seeing Sam. She was thrashing on her bed, still screaming.

“No!” She shrieked. “Stop, don’t!”

“Sam, wake up.” Liam shook her softly, not wanting to scare her further.

“Have to save him!” Liam’s heart broke. She didn’t dream about him dying that often.

“Sam, it’s Daddy. C’mon, wake up.”

“No!” She sat up in bed, awake, and started sobbing. Liam didn’t hesitate to scoop her up, holding her closely.

“You’re okay. We’re okay.” Liam said. It had been a while since she’d had a dream this bad. Liam could feel his hands shaking. “We’re okay.” He repeated.

“Daddy,” Sam sobbed into Liam’s neck, face wet with tears. “He’s gone.”

“I’m right here, baby. I’m okay.” Liam rubbed her back softly. He ran a hand up her back under her shirt, feeling the knobs of her spine. She was clutching onto his neck tightly, and her entire body was shaking.

“He’s gone.” Her voice was soft, but Liam could hear the waver in it.

“Who’s gone, Sam? I’m right here.”

“Zayn!” She screamed his name so loud, Liam jumped. “He’s gone, Daddy. He’s dead!” Liam let out a breath. She’d never dreamed of Zayn before.

Liam could still subconsciously hear Sam mumbling about how Zayn was dead, but he couldn’t focus. He went through the motions of pulling off Sam’s clothes and his shirt. When the shower was as hot as it would go, steam creping along the floor as it escaped, he wrapped Sam in a towel and carried her in. Liam wasn’t sure when he figured out that steam helps calm her down, but this was something he did every time she had a panic attack.

He hummed quietly as they sat on the closed lid of the toilet, thinking of what to do next. He’d been holding Sam for almost thirty minutes, but there hadn’t been any change other than her screaming had stopped. She was still shaking. When Liam pressed her closer against his chest, he could feel her rapid, uneven heartbeat. The steam and him are typically all she needed to calm down. This time, though, it wasn’t helping. Tears were still leaking from her eyes.

Then, Liam had an idea.

He turned off the shower and carried Sam into his room. He sat down with her against his chest. Grabbing his phone, he dialed a familiar number and held it to his ear. Almost immediately, he picked up.

“Liam? Everything okay?”

“Hey, not really. Sam had a nightmare, and I was wondering if you could talk to her?”

“Of course, put her on.” Liam put the phone on speaker, knowing Sam wouldn’t be able to hold a phone right now.

“Okay, you’re on speaker. She can hear you.”

“Sammy? Babe, it’s Zayn.” Sam sobbed into Liam’s chest, clenching her fists around air, but didn’t do anything. “Sam, you want me to sing again?” He didn’t wait for her to answer, he just started singing. Liam vaguely recognised the melody but couldn’t focus on anything apart from his daughter and the sound of Zayn’s voice.

They stayed on the phone with Zayn until Sam’s breathing evened out and she was sound asleep on Liam’s chest. He let out a shaky breath, and Zayn’s singing started back up again. It last for only the verse of a song, but it eased the ache in his chest. He was quiet as Zayn excused himself to attend to the cubs, promising to be back.

He focused on the quiet shuffling down the line; it soothed him. Liam felt the events of the night catching up with him, but he fought it off until the shuffling grew again, and Zayn sighed against his ear.

“She okay, Li?” Zayn whispered. With Liam’s phone on speaker, resting on the pillow beside his head, and eyes closed, Liam could almost pretend Zayn was next to him. The quality of the phone call distorted the fantasy, though. Zayn’s voice was much smoother in person.

“Yeah,” Liam breathed. “She’s asleep. Thank you.”

“You don’t need to thank me, Liam,” Zayn chuckled. “I care about her, too.”

“I know you do, babe.”

“Can I come back after my shift? I’d like to be there when she wakes up.” Zayn’s voice was soft, unsure. Despite his exhaustion, Liam felt his heart swell with warmth.

“We would love it if you were here.”

“I’ll ring you when I’m almost there, yeah? It’ll be early.”

“I’ll leave the light on.”

“Sleep well, Li,” Zayn whispered. “I’ll see you soon.”

Before he could reply, Liam was asleep.

Once again, he was awoken abruptly, the buzzing of his phone making him jump. He fumbled for the device as he rested a hand on Sam’s back. She hadn’t shifted at all. Remembering his phone, he held it up to his ear.

“Z?”

“Hey, babe,” Zayn’s voice was tired, but sweet. “I’m outside.”

“Shit, yeah. Lemme get Sam settled, and I’ll let you in.” They said a quick farewell, and Liam eased his daughter off his chest. She whimpered quietly, and Liam pulled his discarded shirt from earlier over her torso. It should placate her until Liam could make it back.

He padded down the hall and unlocked the door, pulling it open to reveal a tired Zayn.

“Hello,” Liam smiled, pulling Zayn inside and locking the door back. He cupped Zayn’s cheek in a hand, stepped closer, and pushed his lips against Zayn’s. “Is it too cheesy to say I missed you?”

“No,” Zayn said between pecks. “I missed you, too. Both of you.”

“You look exhausted, babe. Ready for bed?”

“So ready. I’m so tired I can’t even fully appreciate the fact that you are shirtless and extremely cute when your hair is all messy like that.”

“C’mon, then.” Liam chuckled as he urged Zayn backwards towards his bedroom.

They shuffled down the hall, and Liam pressed one, last, lingering kiss to Zayn’s lips before they walked into the room. Zayn sleepily stripped out of his clothes until he was left in just his boxers. Liam threw him a pair of sweatpants that bounced off his chest. Liam chuckled as Zayn fumbled to catch them.

“Shut up,” He whined as he pulled them on. “I’m tired.”

“I’m waiting on _you_ , babe,” Liam said. “Get your fit arse in the bed.”

“With Sams?” Zayn’s eyes cleared enough to portray his uncertainty.

“You okay with cuddling her? I’ll cuddle you,” Liam bargained.

“Deal.” With a quick glance to make sure Sam was still asleep, Liam leaned into Zayn, giving him time to lean back if he didn’t want to kiss with Sam in the room. There shouldn’t have been any doubt; Zayn almost immediately sealed their lips. Liam used his leverage to press Zayn back towards the bed. He didn’t push when Zayn’s legs hit the edge of the bed. Instead, he coaxed Zayn under the covers before him.

Once settled, with Zayn curled around Sam with Liam snug up against his back, Liam pressed a soft kiss to Zayn’s naked shoulder. A small hum was the only sound Zayn made. He passed the kiss onto Sam, lingering for a few seconds to inhale the fruity scent of her shampoo.

“Love you, Sams,” Zayn whispered. Liam couldn’t help the soft hitch of his breath at the revelation. It shouldn’t really be a surprise; Liam could see the love Zayn had for his daughter clear as day on his face. But _hearing_ it was different. Even he could feel something shifting between them. He could only speak for himself, but Liam’s feeling had grown into something that, if labelled as _love_ , wouldn’t be too far off from the truth.

“Night, Z,” Liam whispered.

“Night.”

***

The next morning, when Liam woke up, Sam was staring at him. He smiled at her groggily. She shifted closer, silently asking for cuddles. It was hardly a question because Liam immediately opened his arms to invite her closer.

“Morning, Sams,” He rasped in his sleep-heavy voice. “Sleep okay?”

“Yes,” Sam responded emphatically. “Zaynie is comfy.”

“Did you see him this morning?” Sam nodded.

“He said to tell you he’ll be back. He was thirsty.”

“I was,” Zayn chimed in from the doorway. He was holding a half-empty glass of water. Liam beckoned him closer, and Zayn came easily. After setting his glass on the table beside the bed, Zayn settled into the bed, and curled up next to Sam. When he pulled her close, she slumped against his side.

“Daddy was cuddling with you last night,” She whispered to Zayn.

“ _Was_ he?” Zayn asked with a giggle. The smile on his face was slowly growing, the tongue-pressed-against-teeth smile that was one of Liam’s favourites. Right behind the surprise-kiss smile and the watching-Sam-do-anything smile. Let’s not forget the just-woke-up-and-happy-to-see-you smile. Really, all of Zayn’s smiles are Liam’s favourites.

“I think Daddy thinks you’re pretty.” It was whispered again, but Sam had never been the best at whispering, so Liam easily heard her. The two men exchanged an uncertain glance.

“Can I tell you a secret, Sammy?” Zayn asked. It was easy to hear the waver in his voice. Liam squeezed the back of his neck in a way that he hoped was comforting as Sam nodded enthusiastically. “I think your daddy is pretty, too.” Sam gasped in a way that would have been funny if not for the seriousness of the conversation. The seriousness must have been lost on her, though, because she giggled, waving Zayn even closer.

“Can I tell him?” Her voice, having raised in her excitement, was now at a normal volume, but Liam tried his best to contain his smile. When Zayn raised an eyebrow in a silent question, she clarified. “That you think he’s pretty.”

“Go ahead, love.” Zayn chuckled when Sam bounced over to sit in Liam’s lap. She looked up at her father with her big, brown eyes crinkled at the corners from the force of her grin.

“Daddy,” Liam looked down, as if he were just becoming aware that she was there. He cocked his head. “Zaynie thinks you’re pretty.” She giggled, and Liam couldn’t fight his smile this time.

“Will you tell him something for me, love?” He asked. She nodded, eager, with wide eyes. He leaned in to whisper into her ear. As he spoke, her eyes got impossibly wider. She was practically vibrating when Liam sent her back to Zayn to deliver the message. She had hardly settled next to Zayn before she blurted out the ‘secret.’

“Daddy wants to _kiss_ you!” She spilled. Her wide grin gave Zayn the approval he needed to playfully tackle Liam and smother his face with kisses. Sam erupted into giggles, collapsing back into the bed from the force of her laughter. “ _Nooo_ , Zaynie. On the…on the _lips_.” She pressed her grin into her shoulder.

Liam, eyeing Zayn carefully, gave his consent with a careful nod. Zayn moved closer instantly, feeling the tension grow as the space between them dwindled. Out of habit, Liam let his fingers drift to the nape of Zayn’s neck, tangling in the small tufts. He tugged softly. Following the pull, Zayn moved closer. He couldn’t help but let his eyelids flutter when he realised how close Liam was.

“Gonna kiss you, yeah?” Liam breathed. Even with Sam’s proximity, he doubted the small girl would’ve heard them. When Zayn nodded, that was all the approval he needed. Using the grip he had on Zayn’s hair, Liam pulled Zayn closer, close enough to ghost his lips over the dark-haired lad. When his tongue darted out to wet his lips, they oh-so-lightly touched Zayn’s, and he whimpered.

There had been enough teasing, even for Liam. Had his daughter not been within arms’ length of them, he was nearly positive he would have gotten turned on. Alas, she was, so Liam simply shuffled forward an extra centimeter or two to connect their mouths. Sam’s giggle was almost drowned out by the feeling of Zayn’s lips against his. He would _never_ get used to the feeling of the soft, plush feeling of the younger lad’s mouth.

A soft giggle broke them out of their moment. Liam pecked Zayn once more as he retreated before facing Sam.

“Is that okay?” He asked vaguely. Sam frowned; her eyebrows furrowed as she cocked her head. Liam clarified. “If _Zaynie_ and I kiss.” Sam tittered into her shoulder before she nodded, allowing Zayn and Liam both to breathe a bit easier.

“Kiss him!” Sam cheered. Without a clue as to who she was talking to, they both internally shrugged, meeting in the middle for a chaste kiss. Seemingly in awe, Sam simply stared. It was a little awkward to have Sam watching them kiss after all this time of keeping it a secret, but Liam was okay. The fact that the most important person in his life was now aware of the _second_ most important person in his life was relieving.

“Sam?” Zayn questioned as the kiss came to an end. The whine that fell from his lips when Liam retreated from their kiss was, without a doubt, embarrassing. He pulled himself together in time to hear the young girl’s reply. She squealed, bouncing excitedly on the bed.

“Daddy and Zaynie sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G!” Liam groaned, flopping onto the bed. He urged Zayn to join him. The younger lad collapsed next to him. Liam couldn’t help the fact that his eyes traced the sharp cut of Zayn’s jaw. His hair fanned out, framing him angelically as he breathed heavily on the pillow.

Later, when the moment had faded and they were simply laying in bed breathing together, Sam sat up quickly. It startled Zayn enough for him to mirror her, sitting up to take in her furrowed eyebrows. By the look on her face, she wanted to ask a question. Zayn was familiar enough with her facial expressions by now to identify that she was unsure about something. He ran a hand down her arm to close his hand around hers.

“Okay, love?” Zayn asked softly.

“Are you Daddy’s romantic?”

“What do you mean?”

“I asked Jenna at school before about _her_ Mommy and Daddy, and she said they were romantic. Like, they like to hug and kiss and stuff,” She explained. “Does that mean you’re _Daddy’s_ romantic?”

“Boyfriend, love,” Liam chuckled, tugging on a braid fuzzy from sleep. “Romantic is _how_ people act. A boyfriend or girlfriend or husband or wife is what someone is called when they act romantic.”

“Are you boyfriends?” She looked between them with wide eyes. Both men exchanged a glance. Gazing down at Liam, who still had his head settled onto the pillow, Zayn quirked his eyebrow. Liam’s eyes gave him away; to Zayn, it couldn’t have been any clearer. He knew the answer Liam wanted to hear.

“Yeah, Sammy,” Zayn maintained eye contact with Liam as he spoke. “I’m Daddy’s boyfriend.” The grin on Liam’s face was blinding. A loud giggle erupted from Sam when Liam suddenly rolled over to press Zayn back down against the mattress. The man under him let out an embarrassing squeak of shock. Out of habit, he shifted his legs until Liam could settle between them.

“Well then,” Liam said cheekily. “Since you’re my _boyfriend_ , I guess that means I get to kiss you whenever I want.”

“Yes, Daddy!” Sam cheered. “Kiss him again!” Her giggle when their lips brushed was enough for both of them to stifle their grins with the other’s. It was less of a kiss at this point, leaning more towards grinning against each other’s mouths.

As they calmed down, Liam pulled back and happened to glance at the clock. He gasped dramatically, flopping back onto his pillow.

“Sams, you’ve distracted us for too long!” Liam chuckled. “It’s nearly ten. _Way_ past time for breakfast.”

“I _am_ pretty hungry, Daddy,” Sam said thoughtfully. “You?”

“I’m hungry, too!”

“Hungry enough for pancakes?” Sam asked hopefully.

“Did I just get conned into making pancakes?” Liam asked Zayn with a chuckle.

“I think you did, babe,” Zayn grinned back.

“Well, then I guess I’m making pancakes!” Liam exclaimed, making Sam cheer. “Sam likes blueberry pancakes, and I put chocolate chips in mine. What would you like?” The question was directed towards Zayn, who hummed thoughtfully.

“Can I try one of both?”

“Of course!” Liam leaned in to press a kiss to Zayn’s lips before he slid out of bed. Still shirtless, he padded down the hall presumably to make breakfast. It was quiet. Sam’s grin slowly faded as she calmed down. Taking advantage of their privacy, he tugged on her arm softly. She followed the urging easily, settling into the space between his arms.

“Can I ask you something, Sammy?”

“Yeah,” She smiled up at him through her lashes. Brown eyes that were replicas of Liam’s stared back at him, and he couldn’t hold back the smile.

“Are you really okay with this? Your daddy and me?”

“Of course, Zaynie!” She exclaimed.

“You can tell me if you’re not, love. It’s a lot to think about.” Sam got a serious look on her face. It flickered to sadness for a bit, then back to stern as she made eye contact. Her intense gaze could trick anyone into thinking she was _decades_ older.

“My mommy is gone.” She said. “We miss her lots, and we’re sad, but now my dad smiles again.”

“Sam-” Zayn breathed. She shook her head, silencing him.

“Daddy smiled before, but I know it wasn’t real. Now, he smiles for real. _You_ make him smile, Zaynie.” He couldn’t stop the tears from welling up at her words, pulling her against his chest tightly.

It was quiet for a few moments before Zayn couldn’t hold it back anymore. Just thinking about it made him smile. He pressed the grin a kiss to Sam’s forehead to hide it, blushing just from the thought.

“Sams,” Zayn whispered. She popped her head up to look at him. “I love you.”

“Love you too, Z.”

“I love your Daddy, too.” He whispered into her hair after pressing a kiss there.

***

“Boyfriends go on dates, right? That’s what they’re called. Jenna told me!” It was the first thing she said after said friend dropped her off after a sleep over a couple weeks after “becoming boyfriends.” Liam should have a talk with Jenna’s mom about monitoring appropriate conversations. Next time she comes back, she’ll be asking where _babies_ come from. And Liam is not ready for that.

“Yeah, sometimes they do, I guess,” Zayn chuckled. Obviously, he hadn’t seen Liam’s aborted finger-across-the-neck motion. He fell for it.

“So why don’t you and Daddy go on dates?”

“I, we, uh-” Zayn looked at Liam helplessly. Liam simply shrugged with a smirk.

“Yeah, babe. Why don’t you ever take me on a date?” Zayn rolled his eyes, but feel to his knees in front of where Liam was sprawled on the sofa.

“Liam, my light, my boyfriend, the maker-of-amazing-pancakes,” He paused to let Sam laugh. “Would you like to go on a date with me?”

“Oh, a first date. Gonna take me for drinks?” Liam asked. Zayn nodded, leaning his elbows on to the tops of Liam’s strong, firm thighs. Following his every move intently, Liam leaned forward as well. Zayn shuffled closer, now suggestively settled in the v of his legs. Zayn lowered his voice, only for Liam to hear his next question.

“Want to get me drunk and take advantage of me?”

“If you’ll let me.”

“Well, I’m a lady with _morals_ ,” Zayn teased with a grin. He pushed his tongue to the back of his teeth. It was the smile that Liam liked the most; that was obvious from how wide his responding grin always was. “It would taint my reputation to put out on the first date.”

“I promise, babe, your reputation and your morals are safe with me.” Despite their joking conversation, the serious look on Liam’s face had Zayn blushing. “C’mon, it’ll be fun. Will you go out with me?”

“Of course I will, Li.”

“Yay!” That was Sam. Immediately after, she crashed onto Liam’s lap. He blushed and awkwardly shifted her to the side, which made Zayn chuckle.

“Can’t wait, babe,” Zayn pushed himself to his feet, kissed Liam, and then moved to rifle through some DVD’s. It was his night to pick which movie they watched, which made his heart flutter. He had been fully welcomed and accepted into their family dynamic.

***

Their date night happened nearly two weeks later. Liam had to bribe Louis with drinks another night to get him to agree to watch Sam. They both knew he would agree, though; he was a sucker for Sam’s pouty face, even more so than Liam at times.

When they pulled up to the casual bar they decided on, Liam couldn’t help the nerves. They’ve had countless movie nights, sleepovers, and dinners with Sam before now, but take his daughter out of the equation and smack the term ‘boyfriend’ onto the man across from him, and his hands are shaking.

“Babe, you comin’?” Zayn’s door was open, and he was standing outside. Liam shook himself out of his daze and nodded. When he had joined Zayn on the sidewalk, the slightly shorter man grabbed him by the sides of his jacket and pulled him closer. “You okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m just-” He sighed.

“Sam will be okay, Li,” Zayn said softly.

“ _No_ ,” Liam huffed. “I’m not worried about Sams.”

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m,” He sighed. “I’m nervous.” He whispered. Zayn laughed, but it died out when he saw the nerves painted on Liam’s face. It was obvious he was trying to hide it, but now that Zayn saw it, he couldn’t unsee it.

“Babe, it’s _me_.”

“I know! That’s why I’m nervous.”

“You’re ridiculous, love,” Zayn took advantage of their proximity to kiss his boyfriend. It stifled the hitch of Liam’s breath from the term of endearment. They hadn’t used that before, mostly _babe_ , but never _love_. _Zayn calls Sam ‘love,’_ Liam thought _and he loves her. Does that mean he loves Liam?_

Before Liam could talk himself into a panic, Zayn tugged him into the bar. The pounding bass immediately overwhelmed Liam’s senses, and it quieted his brain. They settled into a small, intimate corner booth next to each other. Liam settled an arm around Zayn’s shoulder, and he scoffed.

“Are you trying to make a move on me? We just got here. Need I remind you that I don’t put out on the first date?” Zayn’s eyes twinkled with mischief, and they both laughed. After that, the night got easier. They had a few drinks, laughed, and then, when they needed a break from sitting, moved to the area with dartboards.

Zayn, a tad uncoordinated sober, was hopeless at darts when he was tipsy. They were equally competitive, and Zayn’s enthusiasm did _not_ make up for his lack of skill. If every time Liam saw his lip poke out in a pout Liam ‘accidentally’ threw a bit wide, he just laughed it off and blamed it on the fact that he’d had one more drink than Zayn.

“I think I should catch up, babe,” Zayn giggled adorably. “I’m going to grab another drink. Want one?”

“No, but thanks.”

He couldn’t help occasionally glancing to make sure that Zayn was alright. It seemed to be taking a while for the bartender to get to Zayn. There was quite a large crowd around the bar, Liam acknowledged, crowded enough that a tall man had eased in to the small space to Zayn’s right. Instantly more alert, Liam shuffled closer until he was a few meters away. He was out of earshot to give Zayn his privacy, but he was close enough to intervene if needed.

Someone bumped into the man next to Zayn, and he caught himself with a hand on the other side of Zayn, effectively boxing him against the bar top. Zayn, still intent on getting his drink, was oblivious. The man didn’t retract his arm. He pressed himself up against the line of Zayn’s back, close enough that Zayn noticed. He turned around to face the guy, eyebrows furrowed. They exchanged a few words, but the man didn’t scoot away. Instead, Liam watched as they laughed at something Zayn had said. It was clearly flirting behaviour; Liam was familiar enough with watching Zayn flirt to know it.

Almost completely sober now, he sidled up to the bar on Zayn’s recently-abandoned other side. Slightly more aggressive than was probably needed, he put his arm around Zayn’s waist, under the other guy’s, and kissed Zayn’s temple.

“Hey, babe,” Liam greeted. “Thought you got lost.” Zayn smiled warmly up at him as Liam pulled him against his side. The shift had the man’s arm loosening, and when he looked up and saw Liam, he paused, backed off, and left without another word.

“You-” Zayn’s eyebrows furrowed like he meant to ask a question, but Liam cut him off.

“Were you flirting with him?” Liam accused sharply.

“What? No, Liam, of course not.”

“He was flirting with you.”

“Okay?”

“He was _flirting_ with you, and you were encouraging it!”

“No, I wasn’t, Liam!”

“I watched you.”

“I don’t know what you think you saw, Liam, but I wasn’t flirting.”

“You know, if you want to leave, just do it,” Liam snapped. Almost immediately, he regretted it, but it was out now, and he couldn’t take it back. The look on Zayn’s face would have been amusing if they weren’t in the middle of an argument. He looked like he’d just been drenched with ice water. Then, he scoffed.

“I’m not going to leave, Liam.”

“Dating someone with a kid is _serious_ , Zayn,” Liam said. “You’ve got to be all in.”

“I _am_ all in!”

“I can tell.” The sarcasm was so loud the people on the dancefloor probably heard it. “Sam is attached. When you leave, it’ll be like her mom all over again. I don’t want you to be in this relationship if you’re not okay with Sam.”

“I’m _not leaving_ ¸ Liam!” Zayn groaned. “I _adore_ Sam; you know that! And I _love_ our relationship despite her.”

“Despite her?” Liam repeated, voice low.

“Liam, you know what I mean.”

“No, Zayn, I really don’t. You just said you love our relationship _despite_ my _daughter_.” Liam was pissed. He knew he should take a step back and calm down but couldn’t. “If my having a daughter is such a hardship for _you_ , then maybe there shouldn’t even _be_ a relationship!”

“Liam, don’t say that.”

“Just,” Liam rubbed his face. “Think about what you want and text me or something. I’m going home.”

“Liam!” Zayn called after him, but Liam kept walking. It was easy to lose him in the crowd. By the time he made it outside, he was panting, and he all but ran to his car. He had to get home. He had to see Sam. She was the only thing that made sense.

When he opened the door, he could easily see the back of Louis’ head on the couch. Sam wasn’t quite tall enough to see over the couch, so he wasn’t sure if she was next to the brown-haired lad. He stealthily made his way to the couch, easing around the corner. The sight of his daughter, fast asleep, against his best mate’s side, instantly calmed him.

Louis was also asleep, so Liam shuffled closer. He gently eased his arms under her warm, pliant body. As he shifted her, Louis stirred. He frowned at Liam, who shook his head with a nod towards Sam. Straightening his spine, he made a split-second decision to settle Sam into his bed. He’ll need her comfort tonight.

Once she was carefully wrapped in the sheets, Liam walked back out to face his friend’s interrogation. Louis didn’t even let him sit down before the questions started.

“Thought I wouldn’t see you until at least tomorrow morning. He finished that fast?” Louis joked.

“Shut up,” Liam sighed. He settled into the couch next to Louis.

“Liam?” Louis asked softly. “Everything okay?”

“We had a fight. It was dumb. I don’t really want to talk about it, but I don’t think he’s coming back.”

“Hey, of _course_ he’ll come back. He loves you two.” Louis rolled his eyes, but he sounded emphatic.

“He loves our relationship ‘despite Sam,’ Lou.”

“What?”

“That’s what he said.” Liam told him.

“Give him time, Liam. Seriously, he looks at you like the sun shines out of your ass. He’d know, too.” Louis chuckled, but Liam didn’t, so he reiterated his statement. “He’ll be back.”

“What do I tell Sams?”

“I can’t help you with that, babe.” Louis rose from the couch, grabbed his phone and keys, and kissed Liam on the cheek as he bid him a goodnight.

After puttering around for a few minutes, cleaning up a few stray toys that Sam must have pulled out earlier, he made his way back to his room. He couldn’t stop glancing at his phone. Nearly every other minute, he darted his gaze to his phone. When he’d scrubbed the lingering taste of alcohol out of his mouth, Liam pulled off his jeans and shirt. It took all of his restraint to plug his phone in and flip it facedown. He refused to look at it.

Sam was warm when he settled behind her. He hadn’t realised how tired he’d been before now. With his daughter’s even breathing and soft skin against his, nearly immediately his eyes were heavy, fluttering. Then, he was asleep.

***

“Daddy, wake up. Daddy!” Small hands shook his shoulder somewhat forcefully until he opened his eyes. Sam’s smiling face greeted him, and he smiled back easily. He remembered the events of the night before, but he kept his face passive.

“Good morning, Sams.”

“How was your date? Where’s Zaynie?”

“You know his name is just Zayn, right, love?” Liam chuckled, avoiding the question.

“I like Zaynie more.” She shrugged. “Tell me about your date!”

“We talked, we laughed, and we played darts.” He told her.

“Sounds fun! I wish I could’ve gone,” She sighed wistfully. “So, where is he?”

“He had something he needed to do.”

“Is he coming later?”

“I don’t think so, Sams, but we can make breakfast and have a movie day while we wait. Sound good?”

“Yeah! Can we watch _Iron Man_?” It was Zayn’s favourite, but Liam didn’t have the heart to tell her no.

“Sure, love.”

They had settled in on the couch, quietly watching, when there was a knock on the door.

“Zaynie!” Sam cheered. She was off the couch and at the door, opening it, before Liam could stop her. When he caught up, the smile had slipped from her face when she revealed Louis standing behind the door.

“What’s up, Sammy-Sam?” Louis asked, grinning. It faded when she didn’t return the enthusiasm, simply saying hello and going back to the movie. He frowned at Liam.

“She misses Zayn.” Liam sighed.

“Is he coming over soon?”

“No,” Liam muttered. “What are you doing here?”

“Nice to see you, too, mate,” Louis scoffed. “I left my jacket.” He gestured to the foreign, but familiar jacket on the hall tree, and grabbed it.

“Sorry, I just-”

“You miss your boyfriend. I get it.”

“I don’t even know if he _is_ my boyfriend anymore, Louis.”

“Talk to him?”

“I told him to decided what he wants and then text me.”

“Okay, Li, but that child in there,” He pointed to Sam. “That child loves him, and if he doesn’t come back, you need to still be on speaking terms with him to give her time to adjust. She’ll need to see him.”

“I know.”

Louis left after a firm, but sad, look. Liam didn’t need or want his pity. All he needed was his daughter, and his maybe-ex-boyfriend’s favourite movie.

Sam dozed off during the movie, so he shuffled them around so he could lay against the armrest with Sam on his chest. It was still bare. He hadn’t bothered to pull one on when they got out of bed earlier. Her blonde hair, frizzy from sleep and shifting on the couch, tickled his skin where it fanned out around her head like a halo. Petting the soft strands, he smoothed them back into place carefully.

A particularly loud scene disturbed Sam, and she picked her head up, looking around with a yawn.

“Zaynie?” She asked.

“No, love. Just Daddy.”

“I want Zayn.” She sniffled. Liam rubbed her back in an attempt to soothe her. “No! I want _Zayn_!” She sniffled against his chest, melting as the fight almost instantly left her body. She hiccupped, and the sound broke Liam’s heart. He hated when she cried.

“It’s okay, Sams,” Liam whispered softly into her hair. “We’ll be okay.”

They had quietly, and slowly, gone about their day after that, going through the motions. It was obvious that a piece of them was missing. Zayn was a larger part of the family than Liam had originally thought. Sam was especially quiet. After the movie ended, she had told Liam that she was going to play in her room. The subdued girl trudged down the hall, and Liam hadn’t seen her since.

Now, long after the sun had gone down, they were settling down. Liam had put Sam in the bath about ten minutes ago, and she’d had enough time play to her heart’s content, so he knocked softly on the door before pushing it open.

“Sams, you ready for shampoo?” He asked.

“Yeah.”

They were unsurprisingly quiet as Liam soaped up her hair. He expertly kept the suds away from her eyes, unaided by her lowered head. As he filled a cup with water, shielding her eyes to rinse her hair, Sam sighed. Liam frowned, lowering the cup of water.

“What’s wrong, love?” Liam asked.

“When is Zaynie coming back?”

“I’m not sure.” He said truthfully. “Can you pick your head up?” She didn’t say anything after that, but let Liam tilt her head back to rinse the shampoo out. There wasn’t any conversation apart from Liam’s gentle directions when it was time for her to wash herself.

He gently wrapped her in a towel when they were done, picking her up and moved her into her room. Getting her dressed was a challenge. She was a mixture of sad and sleepy, meaning she was uncooperative and heavy-limbed. By the time he got underwear, leggings, and a shirt over her head, Liam was exhausted. He settled her into her bed.

“What story tonight?” He asked. “Harry Potter?”

“Just want to sleep.” She rolled to face the wall, and Liam sighed. He leaned down to press a kiss to her hair and stood.

“Love you, Sams. I’ll be down the hall if you need me.”

It didn’t come as a shock this time. He had slept fitfully as he waited for the scream. By the time he heard it, though, the sun had just barely begun to rise. A scream wasn’t the right word to describe it, though. The sound his daughter made was more visceral. Whatever it was, it sounded like I had been ripped from her throat.

He was out of bed and down the hall in less than seven seconds, grabbing his phone on the way for light.

When he entered the room, Sam was squirming in bed, letting out whimpers. He hardly had time to take in the scene before another scream pierced the air, and Liam jumped. Almost instantly, he found himself next to his daughter, scooping her up.

Once she was settled against his chest, he could feel her erratic heartbeat and short, uneven breathing.

“Sams,” Liam said, bouncing lightly. “Sams wake up!”

“No, Za’ come ‘ack” She mumbled. It was slurred enough that Liam knew it wasn’t directed at him; she was still dreaming. His heart ached when he realised that she was dreaming of Zayn. Probably due to the fact that he wasn’t _here_ , and Liam couldn’t assuage her worries as the _where_ he was.

“Sam! Wake up.” He bounced again, jostling her further until she gasped and let out a sob. Liam was surprised when she started beating on his chest, even was shocked at the force behind it despite her still being asleep. As she started squirming again, Liam fumbled to keep his grasp, but it was difficult.

Due to her squirming, and the risk of dropping her, Liam settled them on the floor with Sam resting against his chest. The small girl, even smaller in sleep, went back and forth between curling into a ball and thrashing between his knees. Regardless of what Liam did, Sam _wouldn’t_ wake up. Eventually, he decided to just hold her and let her wake up in her own time.

He waited patiently as she sobbed in her sleep, aching for something he couldn’t understand and couldn’t give her. It broke his heart to watch her cry like this. Then, without warning, she was awake.

Liam didn’t know she was awake until Sam shot up and immediately crawled away. She was panting, still crying, and when he settled a hand onto her shoulder, she yelped, shuffling out of reach. It was easy to recognise the fact that she was hyperventilating.

Her breathing was short and choppy, and what Liam was told to do to help her when they first started was to have her put her head between her knees, but she was already on all fours, so there wouldn’t be much difference. Liam could see her entire body _shaking_ , even with the distance between them, but she wouldn’t let him touch her, so he couldn’t wrap her in a hug which has helped during previous panic attacks. And, once that thought went through Liam’s head, it was easy to see the signs: she was hyperventilating, shaking, crying, sobbing, screaming, avoiding touch, and the look on her face was pure terror. Despite being in the middle of panic attack, at one point, when she looked up and met Liam’s eyes, the look she sent him screamed _help me I don’t know what’s wrong, and I can’t stop_. When he edged closer, though, she flinched, and he was torn; he could force her to let him touch her, but would that terrify her even more? Then, she was hyperventilating, shaking, crying, sobbing, screaming, and coughing. She’d never had a coughing fit during an panic attack before, so Liam wasn’t entirely sure how to react to it; he felt his chest constrict when the coughing changed into _choking_ , choking and gagging around her coughs as she continued to panic, eyes wide and pleading for Liam to _do something_ , but she wouldn’t let him do anything, so Liam was still. He blinked; one minute, Liam was sitting, chewing on his lip while he watched, hovering, until Sam would allow him to comfort her.

Then she threw up.

He froze. There wasn’t anything in the dozens of parenting books he and Sophia read that told him about how to survive the death of a spouse. None of them discussed panic attacks, traumatic nightmares, and _none_ of them warned Liam about kids during panic attacks _vomiting_.

“Sam!” He cried, jumping up in shock. Except there wasn’t anything in the books that told him how to deal with this. There wasn’t an answer to the questions bouncing around in his head. _What do I_ do _?_ His thoughts were scrambled. Normally, when she threw up, there was a period of time right after that Sam felt better. Maybe the feeling would come back and she’d vomit again, but she was still hunched on the floor, sobbing, _wailing_. As she sobbed out on each exhale, it was almost like she was screaming at the same time. Now, though, the sound was scratchy. Her throat must be raw.

As she sobbed, wailed, and choked on her breathing, Liam paced in circles around the room. It had become background noise as this point: Sam’s panic attack. Being a parent had allowed him to tune out loud noises. He was still aware of it, the sounds of his daughter’s terror behind him, but he was numb; the sound had faded into a buzz until he couldn’t hear anything, just a buzz.

Until it was silent.

The silence, after the din of her screams, was deafening. Liam was terrified to turn around, unsure of what he would find. And when he did turn around, he wished he never had.

When he turned around, Sam was laying down on her back in the middle of the floor. Not because she had finally calmed down, but because her limbs had all stiffened. It was almost ridiculous. If it were any other situation, Liam would scoff and tell her to stop playing around, but she looked asleep; her eyelids were fluttering. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion, and that’s when she started seizing.

It started with just a few jerks of her arm. Gradually, the jerks became more frequent until they were constant. Her upper body joined in with the twitching, followed almost immediately by her legs until her entire tiny body was convulsing on the floor.

Before, when Liam was a kid, and before he’d had a kid, he had entertained the idea of becoming a firefighter. The idea had festered until it was all he could focus on, and he needed to be ready _then_. He had signed up to take a first aid and CPR class, so he was vaguely aware of many things that could help in an emergency. He knew how to apply a tourniquet, he could dress wounds, administer CPR, and he was also aware of how to react if he happened to be present during someone’s seizure. Even in the middle of his own semblance of a panic attack, he could still remember the steps.

First, he started the clock. Metaphorically, though. He didn’t have a stopwatch on hand, but one glance at his phone told him it was 6:41 am. After that, he needed to turn her onto her side and put something soft under her head to protect it. He darted to the bed and retrieved the discarded jacket handing on the bed post, balled it up, and stuffed it under her head as he rolled her. Then, he waited.

Something that had been harped on during his seizure response training was myths. It was a myth that people could swallow their tongue; it was attached. In addition to that, nothing should be put in their mouths. The other, big, myth was that you should restrain a person during their seizure so they wouldn’t hurt themselves. Instead of this, it was more important to clear the area around them.

As her convulsions eased, Liam glanced at his phone again: 6:44. It had been three minutes. Finally, Sam stilled, and Liam felt like he could breathe again. The relief lasted less than ten seconds before her limbs were locking up again, and she was having another seizure. They’d covered this in his training, too. He knew what to do.

“9-9-9, what’s your emergency?” A woman answered the phone with a soft, calming voice.

“Hi,” Liam’s voice was croaky, and he cleared it, glancing at his daughter. “My daughter is six. She’s seizing.” His voice was even, and he felt surprisingly calm despite the severity of the situation. He felt detached, like it wasn’t really happening. Blank, was the best way to describe his feelings at this point; he felt blank.

“Okay, sir, does she have epilepsy or any history of seizures?”

“No; she’s had two. The first one lasted three minutes, and the second one started a minute ago and hasn’t stopped yet.”

“We are sending a unit now, can you tell me what happened, sir? Did anything trigger it do you know?” She asked kindly.

“She’s had panic attacks in the past. She had a nightmare and it escalated into a panic attack, then she threw up and started seizing.” His report was cold, almost medical sounding, but he couldn’t stop. “It, well, is she going to be okay?” His voice cracked, but he kept going.

“The EMTs will be able to answer that question. They should be there soon. Would you like to stay on the line until they come?”

“No, no,” Liam muttered. “I’ll be okay. It’s fine.”

“They will be there soon, sir.”

“Thank you.”

The lady didn’t say _bye_ ; she didn’t tell Liam to have a good day because it couldn’t _possibly_ be a good day. Instead, she simply hummed in acknowledgment and hung up.

There was a flurry of excitement when the EMTs arrived. They knocked on the door loudly, and while Sam had stopped seizing, Liam was reluctant to leave her to open the door. However, the knowledge that they would soon knock it down if there was no answer trumped the fear of leaving Sam for ten seconds, so he bounded down the hall, unlocked, and flung open the door with a brief greeting as he spun around and ran back to his daughter.

The EMTs asked several of the same questions that dispatch had asked. Liam found himself answering, voice flat and emotionless. Multitasking as they spoke, they quickly hooked her up to an IV drip, loaded her onto a stretcher, and bean to wheel her out.

“We are taking her to St. Andrews’ Hospital, would you like to ride with her?”

“Hell yes.” Liam nodded.

The EMTs simultaneously lifted the gurney, carried her from the room, and left Liam alone. He immediately jumped into action, grabbing a pair of shoes from his room as he fumbled with his phone to call Zayn.

The rings echoed in his ears until, eventually, the speaker crackled like it had been dropped, and Zayn’s familiar voice floated through.

“Liam, I-”

“Shut up,” Liam interrupted instantly upon hearing his voice. “Get to St. Andrews’ _now_.”

“Liam, what? No. I don’t know what that-”

“You know what Zayn,” Liam interrupted again. He wasn’t processing the words Zayn was saying, so it was pointless for him to keep talking. “Fuck you!”

He hung up, and stuffed his phone into his pocket as he jogged to catch up to the men carrying his daughter. He grabbed his keys and wallet, escorted the men out, and locked the door on the way to climb into the large, brightly-flashing vehicle.

He couldn’t remember the drive to the hospital. He couldn’t remember _entering_ the hospital, but he remembered waiting. That waiting room, with the white walls, uncomfortable brown chairs, and the same four magazines on every table, would probably be a memory he takes to his grave.

It wasn’t long before they were calling her name. The sound of her legal name jarred him when they called it. The bright, morning sun, shining in from the window beside him, made him squint up at the nurse who called her name.

“Samantha Payne?”

“Me, I’m dad. That’s me.” Liam said, standing. He was stiff from waiting, but immediately walked forward when she beckoned him to follow her. As they walked, she spoke.

“Hi, I’m Lynda, I’m Samantha’s night shift nurse.” Liam nodded, quiet, as they walked further down the hall. “So, when you go in, she’s going to have tons of wires on her. She hooked up to an EEG, so they won’t be in the way for long. She sedated right now so she can calm down.”

“What is the EEG for? I’ve heard of it, but I don’t know what they do.”

“Since she had a seizure and there was no diagnosis of a seizure disorder like epilepsy, we do an EEG to record abnormal spikes in electrical activity in the brain.”

“Okay. Can I see her?”

“Of course! We will let you know the results after our neurologist has looked at them.” The nurse said. “She’s right in here.”

“Thank you.”

“Press the button on her bed if you need anything. I’m just down the hall.” Liam nodded, and she walked out, quietly closing the door. Almost silently, he shuffled closer to the bed. He pulled up a chair to hold her hand. She was cold, and the nurse was right: she had what looked like a dozen wires coming from multiple points on her forehead and temples. He wasn’t aware of how long he sat there before the nurse came back in with a doctor.

“Hi, Mr. Payne?” Liam stood, shaking hands with the doctor.

“I’m Dr. Cramer, I’m the neurologist.”

“Did the EEG go okay?”

“Yes and no,” He told Liam, who frowned. “Yes in the sense of there the inconsistencies that are common in people with epilepsy were not present. Her EEG was negative, all normal.”

“That’s good right?”

“Yes, but we still don’t know what caused this seizure.”

“Now what, then?”

“I’d like to order a CT,” Dr. Cramer told Liam. “It will give me one more look at her brain before I give you my diagnosis.”

“Okay, yes. Do it.” Liam told him, nodding firmly.

“A nurse will be in to wheel her down to CT shortly. You are more than welcome to wait here while she’s gone.” Liam shook the doctor’s hand after that, and they parted with a quick ‘see you later.’

When he came back, his face looked a tad brighter, and Liam couldn’t help but perk up.

“Good news, Mr. Payne,” Dr. Cramer said with a small smile. “Her CT was negative.”

“I get that that’s a good thing, but what does that mean? Why did she have a seizure?”

“In my opinion, I’m diagnosing it as an NES, a non-epileptic seizure. Many things can cause a seizure, Mr. Payne,” He said. “Stress and anxiety are major factors that, given what I was told upon her admittance, seem to be the most likely cause.”

“While she was asleep, she kept asking for someone. A, um, he’s my…friend. She gets worried when people are gone and she doesn’t know where they are or if they’re late coming back, and he was gone for over a _day_ because we had a fight, and it was all my fault!”

“I highly doubt she’ll blame you, Mr. Payne.” The doctor smiled. “When she wakes up, I’d like her to talk to a psychologist.”

“What? Why? Isn’t that someone you’d talk to if you’re suicidal or something. She didn’t know what was going on!”

“No, no. I’ll let the psychologist explain, but its just a few basic questions as to how to go about helping her. Nothing bad, just precautionary.” Liam nodded. “I’ll let you both rest. She should wake up within the hour. Try and get some rest while you wait, yeah?”

“I’ll try, yeah.”

“Good man, I’ll come back and do an exam when she wakes up.”

When Dr. Cramer left, Liam settled back into his chair with a glance at his phone. It was nearing 8:30, over an hour since he’d called Zayn. There was no calls, nor were there texts on his phone, so he put it on the table next to the bed and laid his forehead down next to his daughter. The calming, even beeps of the heart monitor lulled him into a state of ease. Before he knew it was happening, he was falling asleep.

The latch clicking on the door alerted his Dad-ears. That’s what Sophia always called it. Anytime there was a noise over the baby monitor, Liam was always the first to wake up and go. He could never sleep through any kind of noise. Even now, with the soft click across the room, he stirred. When he picked his head up, taking in Sam’s face, pinched even during sleep, he knew she hadn’t made the noise. There were no machines alerting him, so, the tension eased, and he turned around. It was Zayn. He was standing just inside the door holding the handle still. Immediately, Liam was on his feet next to him.

“What are you doing here?” Liam asked.

“You-you _called_ me,” Zayn stuttered. “I went to visit my parents. I wasn’t in town. You, you told me to come.”

“I told you to come and you said no.”

“Liam, you caught me off guard. You said come to St. Andrews. I didn’t know that was a fucking _hospital_!” He hissed. And, _oh_.

“Daddy.” Sam’s groggy voice had Liam moving swiftly towards her bed. When he settled, he bumped into something which turned out to be Zayn, who stood next to him. He couldn’t stop himself from flashing a look at the dark-haired lad.

“Hey, Sams,” Liam whispered. “Did you see who’s here?” He tilted his head towards Zayn, and Sam’s face, while still sleep-heavy, lit up.

“Zaynie, you’re okay.” She exhaled deeply with a small smile.

“I’m okay?” Zayn furrowed his eyebrows, rubbing her cheek with his thumb. “I was worried sick about you, love. I’m glad _you’re_ okay.”

“Cuddle?” Sam requested, tugging on Zayn’s tattooed hand. Zayn glanced at Liam, an obvious question on his face.

“I, yeah, of course,” Liam stammered. “Go ahead.” Zayn didn’t hesitate after that, sliding in carefully next to Sam. She curled up next to him in a way that screamed _comfort_. Not in the way of _being_ comfortable, but like being with Zayn was easy for her.

They sat in silence for a long time, watching Sam sleep. He couldn’t stop the smile spreading over his lips as he took in the sight of them together. The minute she saw Zayn, Liam watched the anxiety and fear _melt_ off her face. Now, with her eyes closed, head resting on Zayn’s bicep, she looked peaceful. Liam sighed. He hated to do this.

“Zayn, we need to talk.”

“I know, but-”

“No, I need to say this before I can’t.” With a nod towards a sleeping Sam, Zayn quieted, allowing Liam to continue.

“Look, I shouldn’t have accused you of wanting to leave. That was wrong of me, and I’m sorry. I know how it _looked_ , you with that guy at the bar, but I know that you weren’t flirting, and saying that you were even _thinking_ about cheating was way out of line.” When Zayn opened his mouth, Liam held up a hand, continuing firmly. He wasn’t aware of his voice raising. “But, and I’m still not accusing you, just warning, you can’t leave whenever you want without letting her know. She’s attached, and had a fucking panic attack because she thought you were _dead_!”

The monitors went crazy, beeping loudly and causing Liam and Zayn both to panic, eyes flying to Sam. She stared back, eyes wide with panic and tears welling at the edges as nurses rushed in. They fiddled with the monitors as Sam continued crying. The second a nurse rested a soothing hand on her arm and asking what was wrong, she sobbed.

“Daddies are fighting!” Liam and Zayn froze. Out of the corner of his eye, Liam could see Zayn staring fully at him with uncertainty, but Liam didn’t know what to _do_. She saw Zayn as her other father? That explained why she had such an intense reaction to him being gone. Vaguely, he could hear the heart monitors going off in the background, but his ears had gone fuzzy again. Zayn’s voice slowly filtered in as well, calming the commotion and allowing him to focus.

“Sammy,” Zayn whispered into her hair. “We didn’t mean to scare you, love. We’re just really worried about you. You scared us. Sometimes grownups yell when they’re scared. It’s okay, though. We’re okay, and so are you.” The beeping gradually died down as Zayn spoke. The nurses, having found nothing physically wrong with her, had stepped back to observe for a moment. When they realised that she was in good hands, they exited quietly.

Zayn stroked Sam’s hair until she was fully settled. She hadn’t taken her eyes off him since she had calmed down. Liam watched as her eyelids fluttered, and she seemed to fight it. In a single moment, Liam made a decision. He pulled off his shirt in a practiced movement, the motion catching Zayn’s attention, and eased into bed on the opposite side of Sam.

“Go to sleep, Sams,” Liam said softly. “We’ll be here when you wake up.”

“Both of you?” She looked between Zayn and Liam.

“Both of us.” Zayn confirmed. He was looking at Liam when he said it, lips twitching into a small smile. Sam laid her head down on Zayn’s bicep again, facing Liam. As if they had planned it, both men leaned forward and kissed Sam’s head. Sam smiled sleepily at the coincidence, and then finally let her eyes close.

They waited for a few moments to make sure she was really asleep before they picked up their conversation from earlier.

“She’s had plenty of panic attacks before, Li. Why did she have to come here?” Liam couldn’t hide the hitch of his breath at the nickname. It had been less than two days since he’d really had a chance to talk to Zayn, but it had felt like a lifetime since their date. He shook his head and focused on the question.

“She had a panic attack, worked herself into a fit, threw up everything, and then started seizing.”

“Jesus, Liam,” Zayn’s eyes slipped shut, and he breathed out shakily. “What did they say?”

“They said it isn’t epilepsy. It was most likely a non-epileptic seizure, which means the doctor thinks it was due to stress, and they want her to talk to a psychologist.”

“Holy shit,” Zayn whispered. He moved to get up, but Liam caught him by the wrist before he could move away. “This is _my_ fault, Liam!” He hissed.

“Zayn,” Liam breathed. Zayn wasn’t listening though.

“It’s all my fault. I left. I left, and she thought I was dead, then she had a fucking _seizure_ , Liam! How are you not furious?”

“Because I’m the one who told you to leave. I pushed you away, and told you to pick. I shouldn’t have done that, so I don’t blame you for not coming back.”

“Hey. Liam, I came back.” Zayn said firmly. “I’m back. I made my decision before you walked out of the bar, because it was never a question for me. I love her, and I love you, and I want us to be forever.” Liam closed his eyes at Zayn’s revelation. Ever since he’d called Liam _love_ , he’d had his suspicions, but Zayn had never _said it_.

“God, Zayn, I love you, too.” Liam surged forward, still aware of the sleeping child between them, and kissed him. Zayn immediately fell pliant, responding to the kiss with a familiar rhythm. Their mouths moved together easily, and when they pulled back, Liam rested his forehead against Zayn’s.

“I missed you, Li,” Zayn said.

“I left the light on,” Liam admitted. “The night of our fight. I left the light on just in case you wanted to come back. I just wanted you to know that you can _always_ come back.”

“We should move in together.”

“What?” Liam asked, pulling away to look Zayn in the eyes.

“We could choose one of our places; I have an extra bedroom in my apartment. Or we could find a new place, or even a house.”

“Zayn, I don’t think we’re ready for that. I love you so much, and so does Sam, but we only just said that, and there’s still things we have to learn about each other. What if we’re not ready? Sam is in the _hospital_. She’s my kid and-”

“Wait, you have a kid?” Zayn asked, eyes wide with faked shock.

“You’re not funny. I’m serious.”

“Our clouded leopard gave birth to twins yesterday. I have pictures on my phone, but I haven’t had time to show Sam.”

“What are you-”

“They are so tiny, but they already look like their mom. I can’t wait until they’re a bit older and can be away from their mom for an hour or two. If you’ll let me, I want to take her up to see them.”

“What?” Liam finally got out.

“I can talk about this all day. Sam loves it. I love it. I’ve been talking about cats for two minutes and you’re bored and confused. Liam, I like Sam. I like spending time with Sam. She’s smart and funny, and you’ve done a great job with her,” Zayn said firmly. “I didn’t mean what I said when I said in spite of Sam, because she’s how we met. I love you _because_ of Sam. And I love you.”

“I love you, too.” Liam ran this thumb over Zayn’s cheek before smiling at him. “Yes.”

“Yes?”

“Yes. We can discuss this further, but not now. Not today.” Zayn nodded, and they both turned to watch Sam sleep for a bit.

Later that morning, or, really it was early afternoon, Sam finally woke up and stayed awake. The psychologist had been waiting for her to wake up before their consult so, after Sam had eaten lunch, she was paged to their room. When she walked in, she had a bright smile on her face, and she greeted them sweetly.

“Hi, Samantha. My name is Janet. I just wanted to talk to you about some things before we get you on your way home. Is that okay?”

“Can my daddies stay with me?” Sam asked.

“Of course, love! I would love it if they stayed with you.”

“Okay, well, you can call me Sam!”

“Okay, Sam,” Janet chuckled. “I may say some big words that you don’t understand, so if you have any questions, you can ask them whenever you want. Sound okay?”

“Okay.”

“Now, I’m not sure if you were awake when Dr. Cramer told your dad about your seizure. His diagnosis was that you had a non-epileptic seizure, which just means that there wasn’t any real cause for it. We think it was probably because of stress. So,” Janet paused for Sam to catch up or ask questions. “I was wondering what you could tell me about what you remember. Your father told Dr. Cramer you were having a nightmare. Do you remember what it was about?”

“Um. I don’t normally remember my dreams. I know that they scare me, and I know I was worried about Zaynie.”

“Who is Zaynie? What were you worried about?” Zayn had raised his hand after the first question, telling her his name, and Janet jotted down a note on the clipboard she had in her hand.

“I was worried if he was okay. In my dream, I think he died, but I don’t know how.”

“Do you feel like that often?” Sam nodded. “Is there anything that triggers those thoughts that you can think of?”

“What does triggers mean?”

“Like, do you know why you felt like Zayn was dead? What made you think that?”

“Well, Daddy wasn’t sure where he was, and he never come home.”

“Sam,” Zayn whispered sadly, placing a hand on her head.

“Do you remember the panic attack at all, Sam?” Janet asked kindly.

“Kind of?” She said. “I remember that I was scared. I was scared about Zaynie being dead, and I couldn’t breathe. Once, I felt like I was going to be okay, then I got sick and it felt like it would never stop. It was just really scary.”

“Has this ever happened before?” Now, Janet addressed the two adults, who nodded.

“She’s has several panic attacks like this before, but they’ve never been this severe. I can normally talk her out of them after thirty or so minutes.”

“What are some of the triggers, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“One time was when I told her I’d be home when she woke up, and I had spent the night somewhere else, so I wasn’t home when she woke up. Another was after a bad dream, but I was able to call Zayn and he spoke with her until she calmed down.”

“Was there an underlying condition, or something that happened around the time they started?”

“Her mother died over a year ago. She’s had panic attacks and nightmares since then. The nightmares range from just a simple nightmare to people dying, but it’s always people she cares about: Zayn, me, her aunt or uncle.”

“So, from my perspective, it sounds more like an anxiety attack than a panic attack. It makes sense, considering her circumstances, and I’d like to recommend a type of emotion therapy to help her work through some things. It sounds like a very severe, or even a traumatic, case of separation anxiety.”

“Emotion therapy? What does that mean?”

“There’s psychotherapy and Cognitive Behaviour Therapy. I’d really like to try CBT with her first, but not immediately. I’d like to give her some time to get settled and comfortable again.”

“I’d like to do some research about it, it that okay?” Liam asked.

“Of course, Mr. Payne,” Janet said. “I’d love for you to be involved in this.”

“Is there anything else?”

“Actually, I’d like to start Sam on a low dose of an anti-anxiety medication. I don’t see it being long term, but just while the trauma is so fresh, I think it would help ease the intense feelings she has about death and leaving, especially after this episode she had.”

At Liam’s nod, Janet bid them farewell for now and told Liam and Zayn that the prescription would be ready soon. Since their talk with the psychologist was all they were waiting for, Liam went up to the nurses’ station to get the paperwork started.

Two months later, they were adjusting. Sam’s nightmares had all but disappeared, and Liam and Zayn were looking for a house together. Zayn moved in with them over a few days after Sam was discharged from the hospital, and thing had been good. They were adjusting.

Sam had started her cognitive behaviour therapy a week after being discharged, and Liam had seen a few positives that came from them. They had focused on identifying her feelings, labelling them, and finding strategies to overcome them so they didn’t overwhelm her. Slowly, after about six sessions over as many weeks, Sam had begun to readily identify her feelings as they changed. They had set up a colour system that meant different things. Essentially, green was _good_ , yellow was _slow down_ , red was _stop_ , and blue was _help_.

Sam would tell them both things like ‘I feel blue,” like just now, when Zayn told her that he wouldn’t be home until after she went to bed one night.

“Why do you feel blue?” Zayn asked, mimicking their dialogue that Janet had given to them at the end of their second session.

“I’ll miss you, Z,” Sam told him with a small frown on her face.

“What can I do, Sammy? I can’t _not_ go, but I want to help you feel okay about me being gone.”

“Um, can you call?” Sam’s voice was unsure, but Zayn smiled easily.

“Daddy can call me when he’s putting you in bed,” Zayn nodded. “And I’ll help him tuck you in.” Sam smiled, nodded, and then crawled her way forward until she could drop into his lap. They stayed like that, existing together, and breathing, until Liam called them both for dinner.

As soon as they were done, Zayn had to leave. He left a kiss on Sam’s head and one on Liam’s lips before he slipped out the door to his car.

“I’ll leave the light on, babe!” Liam called after him. Zayn grinned back from his open door and Sam and him waved from the front porch until they couldn’t see the car anymore. That was another thing that had changed. Zayn always said bye. They never let Sam go to sleep or wake up without at least knowing they were leaving. Last month, when Zayn had to pick up a surprise for Liam, Zayn had to discuss it with Sam. He was going somewhere, and he couldn’t tell her _where_ , because it was a surprise, but he would be back.

And Sam had been okay. He had only been gone for half a day, and while Sam had been able to voice her worries to Liam, a quick text from Zayn had eased them until he was back, carrying a bouquet of flowers for her. Unbeknownst to them both, he also had a small box tucked into his jacket pocket, but he would show Sam later that week when her father got lunch with Louis.

As bedtime grew closer, Sam didn’t argue the familiar routine of bath, teeth, pajamas, bed. It was easy for Liam to coax her into bed, sleepy and warm, especially with the promise of talking with Zayn. Liam honestly thinks she loves Zayn more than him, but Liam doesn’t blame her. He’s the best man Liam’s ever known.

It was a quick call. Zayn stayed on the phone to listen to Liam stumble through a bedtime story. Normally, it was Zayn who read, but since he wasn’t here, it was Liam’s turn. After a quick chapter from _Harry Potter_ , and a sweet goodnight from Zayn and the ocelot cubs, both men wish Sam and goodnight.

Liam, with nothing to do but pick up a few things and clean up from dinner, got into bed early. Despite the familiar arrangement of Zayn taking cub duty frequently, Liam never got used to sleeping without the smaller lad with him.

He was jostled awake when Zayn climbed into bed at five AM. Liam mumbled a greeting and tugged him close.

“I checked on Sam,” Zayn whispered. “She’s still asleep and fine.” Liam nodded, and they both settled down.

That night, there were no screams to wake them up. No panic attacks or bad dreams that plagued Sam. Instead, they slept.


End file.
